ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Leftovers

On the Menu: THE RAID: REDEMPTION (2011)

Aftertaste: Possibly the best action flick of ActionFest 2012.

Rating:

On the Menu: THE DAY (2011)

Aftertaste: Like THE ROAD, but with young peeps, including the lovely Shannyn Sossamon.

Rating:

On the Menu: BAD ASS (2012)

Aftertaste: A real-life viral video becomes a vigilante flick starring Danny Trejo. It's WALKING TALL with a fanny pack.

Rating:

On the Menu: COMIN' AT YA! 3D (1981)

Aftertaste: The most fun movie at ActionFest 2012 not named MANBORG, but it's not purposefully ridiculous. It's just ridiculous.

Rating:

On the Menu: SLEEPLESS NIGHT (2011)

Aftertaste: This secret screening was a nice surprise. You'd never know Tomer Sisley is a stand-up comedian by trade. Dude rocks the action-thrillers.

Rating:

On the Menu: THE LOST BLADESMAN (2011)

Aftertaste: A little confusing with all the characters, and I was hoping for more action. More of a drama until the second half.

Rating:

On the Menu: GOD BLESS AMERICA (2011)

Aftertaste: Goldthwait's stuff is always risky/ballsy. Twisted and over-the-top, but I agree with most of the soapboxing when it comes to how our culture has devolved.

Rating:

On the Menu: WONDER WOMEN! (2012)

Aftertaste: A well-done mix of comic book history and girl power. Sometimes inspirational, too. I'm still waiting for the live-action Wonder Woman summer blockbuster. I vote for Gina Carano.

Rating:

Transit (2012) - ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Plate #4

On the Menu: TRANSIT (2012)

Ingredients: Jim Caviezel, James Frain, Harold Perrineau, Diora Baird, Ryan Donowho, Sterling Knight, Elisabeth Röhm and Jake Cherry. Directed by Antonio Negret. Run time: 88 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: The 9:30/9:45 time slot came down to either TRANSIT or the Swedish flick HEADHUNTERS. My buddy, Chris, picked the former, so I accompanied him. HEADHUNTERS was playing the next day, and this was the only showing of TRANSIT.

Nate (Caviezel) is taking his family on a camping trip in hopes to reconnect with his sons and regain the trust of his wife. See, Nate just served 18 months in the pokey for real estate fraud.

A foursome of bank robbers, led by Marek (Frain), is looking to sneak passed the roadblocks set up to catch them. The family's taken a pit stop, and the robbers spot their vehicle, which is loaded down with camping gear. Perfect. Just take one of the bags and switch out the gear for the stolen cash, then retrieve it later down the road.

Really, how could this plan go wrong?

Tough to Swallow: I question the effectiveness of police roadblocks that ignore suspect profiles.

The audio dropped out right before the hotel rampage scene. After about four minutes the projectionist fixed the problem, but we didn't get to go back and listen to what we missed.

Marek throws a machete, if I remember correctly, at Nate's vehicle. It smashes the windshield, but the windshield is fine in subsequent scenes.

Logic gets thrown out the window several times. Seriously, based on their actions later in the movie, how were the antagonists smart enough to rob a bank in the first place? How did the guy in the boat know something was hidden in the swamp?

Something to Chew On: North American premiere at ActionFest 2012.

Frain won the award for Best Villain at ActionFest 2012.

The film's budget was an estimated $5 million.

Aftertaste: It's a fairly intense thriller with some amazing stunt driving. However, the dialogue is laughable and the characters are stupid. The cheese factor is very high here. I can't remember the number of facepalms I made while listening to the family's conversations.

I spent most of the time wishing Nate would just forget about his family. They suck for the most part, especially his wife.

The quick pace somewhat masks the ridiculous script, but not entirely. Luckily, the run time is only 88 minutes.

I can't recommend this one... unless you're looking for intensity with a big side of crap.

Rating:

Sinners and Saints (2010) - ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Plate #3

On the Menu: SINNERS AND SAINTS (2010)

Ingredients: Johnny Strong, Sean Patrick Flanery, Tom Berenger, Method Man, Costas Mandylor, Luis Mandylor, Jürgen Prochnow, Kevin Phillips, Bas Rutten, Kim Coates and Sonny Puzikas. Directed by William Kaufman. Run time: 104 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: Honestly, the only reason I marked this movie down on my ActionFest schedule was because Tom Berenger was scheduled to appear. I didn't know the plot. I didn't know who else was in it. I didn't know it was already on DVD. I just wanted to get my VHS copy of THE SUBSTITUTE signed by Shale himself.

Detective Sean Riley (Strong) has had it rough as of late. His son has died. His wife has left him.

After a raid goes bad, he's assigned to investigate a recent string of murders, where the victims are being burned repeatedly. One of the vics is the brother of a gang lord. Oops.

Hello, gang war.

Tough to Swallow: The mercenaries don't seem very well-trained or bright.

The majority of the "big" names in the cast only have a handful of scenes.

There is a credit for post-production assistant, but two people are listed.

In the credits, special contributors is misspelled as contributers.

Something to Chew On: Strong did the music for the film. He also did his own stunts. The dude is a black belt in Jiu Jitsu, an accomplished Mixed Martial Artist and makes knives.

The name of the bar in the movie is Boondock Saint. Flanery, of course, is one of the stars of BOONDOCK SAINTS and its sequel.

Flanery has now been in four films with the word 'saints' in the title. The first was PALE SAINTS in 1997.

Puzikas was also the film's tactical advisor. He is a former Russian Special Forces operative.

The movie was released on DVD on January 10, 2012 (three months before I saw it at ActionFest).

The film's showing at ActionFest was its domestic premiere.

SINNERS AND SAINTS 2 will go into production in the fall of 2012.

Aftertaste: Not a bad cop thriller considering it's a low-budget independent flick. It was actually filmed in New Orleans, and you'd never know it since we don't really see any landmarks or Mardi Gras parades. Instead, we get post-Katrina neighborhoods posing as cesspools full of drugs and gang violence.

The story is all over the place. The dialogue is lackluster. The acting, aside from Strong, is pretty sad.

But, but, but... there's lots of gunfire and people being burned. To me, violence is really the key ingredient for an action film. Schwarzenegger is as wooden an actor as there is, but his movies are fun because there are explosions, shootouts and people die in horrific ways. And, SINNERS AND SAINTS is full of intense, sometimes graphic, violence.

Kudos to Kaufman for using mostly practical special effects. Old school > CGI.

Kaufman says the sequel will have more exciting action, so I'll look forward to that.

Hopefully, the script will be better, too.

By the way, I got the VHS signed.

Rating:

Colombiana (2011) - February Filmathon Film #8

On the Menu: COLOMBIANA (2011)

Ingredients: Zoë Saldana, Cliff Curtis, Jordi Mollà, Lennie James, Michael Vartan, Callum Blue, Beto Benites, Graham McTavish and Amandla Stenberg. Directed by Olivier Megaton. Run time: 111 minutes. Rated: Unrated.

At First Bite: I needed an action movie to watch and Saldana is gorgeous. If the screenplay is written by Luc Besson (LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL, LA FEMME NIKITA), you could probably guess the story: a young woman's parents have been killed and she's going to seek revenge.

Well, if you guessed that plotline, then you'd be correct.

Tough to Swallow: Manhole covers must be pretty lightweight in Colombia.

Do the police not get a mugshot of everyone they arrest?

If you've successfully hidden in your mansion's safe room, why would you leave knowing who is in your house?

Not sure you can train a dog to eat raw steaks and get the result COLOMBIANA achieved.

Young Cataleya (Stenberg) reads a Xena: Warrior Princess comic and says she wants to be like Xena. The film is set in 1992. Xena wasn't around until three years later.

The word personal is misspelled as 'personnal' in two credits for Saldana's make up artist and hair stylist.

The word prosthetics is misspelled as 'prostetics' in the credit for Prosthetics Artists.

In the France Unit section of the credits, there's a credit for Location Manager Assistants, but lists only one person. Also in this section, the word assistants is misspelled as 'assitants' in the credit for Video Assistants.

In the Additional Footages credits, licensing is misspelled as 'licencing' for Universal Studios.

Something to Chew On: Besson wrote the screenplay and has a producer credit.

Director Olivier Megaton's birth name is Olivier Fontana. He was born on the 20th anniversary of the Hiroshima bombing, which is where he came up with the Megaton surname.

Aftertaste: Man, there are so many ridiculous moments in this movie (some listed above). Cataleya is supposedly an intelligent assassin with nearly 15 years of experience. Why chance losing the rest of your family while killing nobodies in an attempt to draw the attention of your real target? She's really careless.

And, the police are no better. The Tag Killer can't be a woman? Okay, if you say so. Ugh, and Callum Blue is just as bad an actor here as he was in FRENEMY. His CIA agent is a poorly written character anyway.

Some of the action is okay. I'd say the best part of the movie is when we see Young Cataleya. She jumps from building to building in parkour fashion. But, even the bad guys try to ruin this sequence. The head baddie tells his goons to kill her, then yells at one guy for shooting at her because "we need her alive." Then, he and all his goons end up shooting at the last place they saw her.

You'll definitely be scratching your head a lot... or laughing.

It might keep your interest if you're unfamiliar with Besson's previous works. The oftentimes scantily clad Saldana couldn't even keep me from forgetting the plot holes.

He should have skipped on this and written the sequel to LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL. Please bring back Natalie Portman for MATHILDA.

Sort of ironic the director named himself for a bomb, isn't it.

Rating:

30 Minutes Or Less (2011) - February Filmathon Film #4

On the Menu: 30 MINUTES OR LESS (2011)

Ingredients: Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz Ansari, Danny McBride, Nick Swardson, Fred Ward, Michael Peña, Dilshad Vadsaria and Bianca Kajlich. Directed by Ruben Fleischer. Run time: 83 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: I worked as a pizza delivery guy for three and a half years. I remember the story of Brian Douglas Wells, the delivery guy with a bomb strapped to his chest who robbed a bank.

Basically, if you remember the story behind that botched 2003 robbery, then you know the plot of 30 MINUTES OR LESS.

Dwayne (McBride) can't wait for his dad to die. He figures the inheritance would be rather large. A stripper suggests he hire a hitman. In order to pay for the hit, Dwayne and his buddy Travis (Swardson) kidnap an unsuspecting pizza boy named Nick (Eisenberg) and force him to rob a bank wearing a bomb.

Tough to Swallow: The Major interrupts Dwayne and Travis while they're watching FRIDAY THE 13TH (3D). Dwayne says there's 45 minutes left, but it's the final scene of the movie.

The outtakes on the DVD aren't funny.

Something to Chew On: Ben Stiller was one of the film's producers.

This is Fleischer's second feature film. He previously directed ZOMBIELAND, also starring Eisenberg.

In the beginning of the movie, Nick rents the first two LETHAL WEAPON films. Later, Dwayne is talking to Travis about his tanning salon idea. He calls one of the tanning options the Tanny Glover.

Following the credits, there's a commercial for Dwayne's tanning salon.

Aftertaste: There are a few funny moments. Not a lot, but a few. And, they come from the Eisenberg/Ansari tandem instead of McBride and Swardson, which was a surprise. I love Swardson, but McBride seems to play the same guy in every movie (essentially Kenny Powers). He's like the Tommy Lee Jones of comedy.

I can't complain about this movie too much. Even though it's not as funny as I wanted it to be, it's only 83 minutes long. So, I didn't feel like I suffered through it. Especially, since it's peppered with scenes featuring the lovely Dilshad Vadsaria ("Greek").

As a follow-up to ZOMBIELAND though, Fleischer dropped the ball. Maybe he should stick to original ideas. Or at least have more of a script and not rely on ad-libbing.

Heavy on the cheese, light on the sauce.

Rating:

The Collector (2009) - Movie Marathon Drive-Thru Review: Film #19

On the Menu: THE COLLECTOR (2009)

Ingredients: Josh Stewart, Andrea Roth, Michael Reilly Burke, Madeline Zima, Juan Fernández and Karley Scott Collins. Directed by Marcus Dunstan. Run time: 90 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: Sinister booby traps galore when a handyman attempts to steal a rare jewel from his latest employer's home. Goosebumps. Obviously, not a remake of the 1965 Terence Stamp flick, which is what I originally thought it was upon hearing the title.

Tough to Swallow: Jill's shirt disappears and reappears in her make-out scene.

Arkin apparently smokes Camels, but gets them out of a Marlboro pack. Interesting.

The Additional Photography section in the closing credits is misspelled as Addittional Photography.

Something to Chew On: Clu Gulager's son, Tom, appears as Officer Gulager.

Fernández, who plays The Collector, is better known for playing Miguel in CROCODILE DUNDEE II. Well, at least to me he is.

There was a Thank You credit for "That guy who kept taping his face," and Special No Thanks to "The guy who tried to blow up Joe's Bar and Whoever stole Karlak's watch."

A short scene appears after the credits.

Aftertaste: Wasn't hard to pick out the bad guy from the start, but still trying to figure out how he had the time to set up all those booby traps. Didn't necessarily like the end, but can't say that I didn't see it coming. Maybe the SAW peeps will turn to THE COLLECTOR for a new Halloween franchise.

The first sequel THE COLLECTION is said to be released in 2011, but there's no specific date yet. Stewart will reprise his role as Arkin, but, sadly, Fernández has apparently been replaced as the antagonist.

The creep factor is high. The gore factor is high. I like the soundtrack. The acting is so-so, but it is nice to see Andrea Roth again. I remember seeing CROSSWORLDS (1997) in high school and thinking she was going to be hot stuff. Aside from the Statham movie WAR, her biggest roles to date have been on "Rescue Me" and "Blue Bloods."

I digress.

You'll enjoy this if you like SAW or its successors. 

Rating:

The Other Guys (2010) - Movie Marathon Short & Sweet Review: Film #17

On the Menu: THE OTHER GUYS (2010)

Ingredients: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Rob Riggle, Damon Wayans, Jr., Steve Coogan, Derek Jeter, Zak Orth, Rob Huebel and narrated by Ice-T. Directed by Adam McKay. Run time: 107 minutes (theatrical edition). Rated: PG-13. 

At First Bite: When the top dogs go down, the two most incompetent cops on the force must step up. No way McKay screws the pooch with a buddy cop flick.

Tough to Swallow: In the closing credits animation, there are three minor typographical errors (technically, 5 errors):

1) the second reference to T.A.R.P. doesn't have a period after the P (personally, I wouldn't use periods for TARP)

2) Goldman Sachs is hyphenated in its first reference (twice)

3) in that same graphic, "tax rate" appears as one word (twice)

I noticed about four continuity errors, but there's a longer list on IMDb -- too many to list here.

Something to Chew On: Tracy Morgan, Rosie Perez and Brooke Shields have cameos; they all appear at the basketball game seated beside Allen (Ferrell) and Terry (Wahlberg).

McKay appears as Dirty Mike. Dirty Mike's boys are portrayed by one of the producers, the cinematographer and the property master.

Anne Heche and Ice-T are both uncredited despite having pretty big roles.

Michael Chiklis turned down the role given to Jackson.

Lindsay Sloane, who plays Terry's ex, Francine, was Big Red in BRING IT ON.

At one point, Terry is wearing a Bayside Tigers shirt. Nice "Saved by the Bell" reference. He also has a COBRA poster in his apartment.

There's an outtake after the credits.

Aftertaste: Perhaps the funniest Will Ferrell movie in a while, and it actually has a storyline. Wahlberg definitely helps bring the crazy. The running gag with Keaton made me laugh out loud. It's tragic that it's been 14 years since MULTIPLICITY and the best comedic options he's had since have been doing voices for CARS and TOY STORY 3. As funny as he is in this movie, he is vastly underused.

The scene with Jackson and Johnson, about 15 minutes into the movie, is priceless.

The story is so-so, but I could care less because I was always laughing. 

Rating:

Machete (2010) - Movie Marathon Short & Sweet Review: Film #16

On the Menu: MACHETE (2010) 

Ingredients: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Tom Savini, Daryl Sabara and Lindsay Lohan. Directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis. Run time: 105 minutes. Rated: R. 

At First Bite: Trejo is an ex-Federale hellbent on revenge after being set up in an assassination plot. It just screams crazy action.

Tough to Swallow: Seeing Trejo and Alba kiss. 

Something to Chew On: The movie, of course, is based on one of the fake trailers shown during GRINDHOUSE.

Rodriguez wrote the script back in 1993.

Johnson's billing in the opening credits is "and introducing Don Johnson."

Trejo's character in the SPY KIDS films is also named Machete Cortez. Although, Machete is his nickname for those movies; his first name is actually Isador.

Alba's clothes were digitally removed for her nude scenes since she has a no-nudity clause.

Chris Cooper turned down the role of the senator calling it absurd.

Titles for two sequels appear in the end credits.

Rose McGowan's scene was cut. Her character was Boots McCoy. 

Aftertaste: Gory, cynical and full of crazy action. Throw in some social commentary on illegal immigration and you've got one heckuva Mexploitation flick. Just like GRINDHOUSE, the film is made to look grainy and damaged. I loved the MACHETE trailer in GRINDHOUSE, and I have to say it lived up to my expectations.

Although, I'm very interested in the director's cut DVD that's on its way.

The next fake trailer to hit the big screens as a real movie: HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. Hopefully, THANKSGIVING will soon follow. 

Rating:

Salt (2010) - Movie Marathon Short & Sweet Review: Film #15

On the Menu: SALT (2010)

Ingredients: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejoifor, Daniel Olbrychski and Andre Braugher. Directed by Phillip Noyce. Run time: 100 minutes (theatrical edition). Rated: PG-13. 

At First Bite: The idea of Jolie as a CIA agent who could also be a Russian spy seemed watchable enough.

Tough to Swallow: Andre Braugher has ONE line in the whole movie, but his billing is pretty high in the credits. His talents are totally wasted here. Maybe his character has more to do in the extended deluxe edition DVD.

When Peabody is reading Salt's records on his phone, there is a misspelling in the recommendations category -- "Recieved the Intelligence Commendation Medal..."

Something to Chew On: Originally scripted with a male lead, the film almost starred Tom Cruise. He backed out, and the script was rewritten with a female lead.

Aftertaste: SALT was definitely better than I had expected it to be. I mean, the action and plot are ridiculous, but it's fun to watch. And, I wasn't expecting the twist, which is always nice.

Rating:

Frenemy (2009) - Movie Marathon Drive-Thru Review: Film #14

On the Menu: FRENEMY (2009)
Ingredients: Matthew Modine, Callum Blue, Adam Baldwin, Paul Adelstein and Zach Galifianakis. Directed by Gregory Dark. Run time: 80 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: Picked this up because Galifianakis was on the cover.

Tough to Swallow: The movie is 80 minutes long and, despite being the prominent figure on the front and back on the DVD, Galifianakis is only in the first 25 minutes (and just 13 of those).

The summary on the back of the DVD has nothing to do with this movie:

After a group of friends witness a horrifying crime, they wonder how they were lucky enough to escape, unharmed, while one friend did not. Through this self-discovery they start to understand the meaning of their own hilarious yet twisted fate. As their time starts to run out, the chance at redemption isn't too far behind.

There is no group of friends. There's no hilarity. How is this listed as a comedy?

Modine's laugh and accent are ridiculous.

There's a scene where Mr. Jack (Modine) and Sweet Stephen (Blue) are walking down the sidewalk, and the cameraman goes to pan too early for the end of the scene. I didn't understand why they just didn't reshoot that.

The credit for Steadicam Operator is misspelled as Stedicam Operator.

There are a couple spacing issues in the final bit of the credits starting with "The charactersand events portrayed..." The missing space between "characters" and "and" is one of the mistakes. The other is "... laws,and is strictly prohibited." There should be a space after the comma.

Something to Chew On: It was shown in film festivals under the title LITTLE FISH, STRANGE POND.

Ron Jeremy has a cameo.

Modine is also one of the film's executive producers.

Gregory Dark's other directorial adventures were mostly adult films in the '80s, then soft core skin flicks in the mid-'90s. His most recent mainstream film was SEE NO EVIL with WWE star Kane.

Somehow, 36 people gave this movie a rating of 10 on IMDb.com.

Aftertaste: The characters spout pretentious lines about evil, fate and intuition throughout. I'm not sure what point they're actually trying to make. The movie lacks cohesion even though Mr. Jack tries to explain how all the events are connected because "evil begets evil."

There were two things I liked about this movie: 1) Stephen's rant in the movie theater where he confronts the couple who are talking during the movie, and 2)  Stephen's line "I wish my life were more like a Burt Reynolds movie."

Those two things aside, this movie is 80 minutes of blah.

Another line from the movie seems to point out why I am one of the fewer than 200 people who have seen this piece of crap: "You were more curious than the others."

I guess it was fate that I had to suffer through FRENEMY.

Rating:

44 Inch Chest (2009) - Movie Marathon Drive-Thru Review: Film #11

On the Menu: 44 INCH CHEST (2009)

Ingredients: Ray Winstone, Tom Wilkinson, Ian McShane, John Hurt, Stephen Dillane, Joanne Whalley and Melvil Poupaud. Directed by Malcolm Venville. Run time: 95 minutes. Rated: R. 

At First Bite: All I needed to read on the cover of the DVD was "From the writers of SEXY BEAST." 

Tough to Swallow: My only complaint is that I thought it was going to be more of a shoot-em-up gangster movie. 

Something to Chew On: I didn't count them, but it's been noted that the f-bomb is uttered 162 times in this movie.

Only one camera was used.

Every time I saw Whalley on screen, I could only think of WILLOW (she was Sorsha). 

Aftertaste: 44 INCH CHEST looks more like a stage play since most of it takes place on one set. I mentioned earlier than my one complaint was I assumed it to be in a different genre than it actually turned out to be. However, this crime drama is pretty mind-blowing when it comes to the actor. Seriously, reread the cast list above. Can't you imagine the awesomeness?

I doubt too many people will appreciate this film. There's not a lot of action. It's driven by its cast and explosive dialogue. There are numerous scenes that are ridiculously full of words. How on earth these guys remembered all their lines is beyond me.

Oddly enough, the movie itself is about love. Love makes you do crazy things. Crazy things like murder and forgive.

It's a bit confusing at first, but I really liked when the movie goes into Colin's mind, his breakdown.

In the end, what does it mean to be a man?

I say watch this and find out.

Rating:

 

Big Fan (2009) - Movie Marathon Drive-Thru Review: Film #8

On the Menu: BIG FAN (2009)

Ingredients: Patton Oswalt, Kevin Corrigan, Michael Rapaport, Marcia Jean Kurtz, Matt Servitto, Gino Cafarelli, Serafina Fiore and Jonathan Hamm. Directed by Robert Siegel. Run time: 87 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: I had heard good things about this when it came out on DVD. Oswalt is one of my favorite comedians, and I've only been disappointed by 3 movies (out of 22) starring Rapaport. Plus, it's about a Giants fan, so there was a possibility of hearing/seeing that the Redskins didn't also suck in movie world.

Tough to Swallow: The scenes at night are really dark and hard to make out at times.

There isn't really a media circus as one would expect following an incident involving a pro athlete.

In the law firm commercial, the name Bauman is pronounced Bo-man by Paul's brother (one of the partners). The client in the commercial pronounces it Bow-man (think wow). There are numerous outtakes of the making of this commercial on the DVD. Also, in the commercial there's an apostrophe in "auto accidents" making it "auto accident's."

When Paul is reading the newspaper article about the investigation stalling, the filmmakers copied and pasted a couple paragraphs to make the article longer.

The final game of the season between the Giants and Eagles is a Monday night game. There are no Monday night games scheduled in the final week.

Paul's last name, Aufiero, is pronounced Aw-fee-arrow. Phil pronounces it as Ah-four-ee-oh and Ah-far-ee-oh.

Paul introduces himself to Phil as Mark. But, Phil calls him Paul in the restroom.

Sal shows Paul the schedule for the upcoming season, but it is a 15-week schedule with 14 games instead of a 17-week schedule with 16 games. Plus, the Giants wouldn't play the Dolphins, Patriots and Chargers in the same regular season. The Chargers are an AFC West team; the others are in the East. The 17-week schedule should include the Bills and Jets as matchups, not the Chargers.

Another thing wrong with that schedule is it lists December 9th and 20th both as Sundays.

Alas, no Redskins highlights or mentions. They are obviously behind both Philly and New York in the division race though.

Something to Chew On: Siegel directed and wrote the screenplay. He also has a cameo as a NY Newsday reporter.

It's funny that Paul chides his brother for eliminating contractions from his speech in order to sound smarter, but if you read any of Paul's notes, he crosses out contractions and writes out the phrase.

Pay attention to what kind of cake Paul's 7-year-old nephew is presented with on his birthday. Hilarious.

The 30-minute Q&A with Siegel and Oswalt on the DVD is well worth the watch.

Aftertaste: I didn't expect Oswalt to pull off this character, but he definitely reminded me of De Niro's delusional Rupert Pupkin in THE KING OF COMEDY. Paul is no Gil Renard though, that's for sure. He's not a smart man either.

Paul is obsessive, sure, but it's his loyalty that is his downfall. One could liken his situation to that of a domestic abuse victim. He is the one victimized, yet makes excuses to maintain the relationship.

BIG FAN is a dark comedy, and might be difficult to watch for some if only because Paul isn't really a likable character and you feel sorry for him. His buddy, Sal (Corrigan), might be the "brightest" part of the film, and that's saying something. The funniest scenes, to me, are the root beer and internet scenes (with Sal and Paul).

I like the writing. I mean, Siegel went from THE WRESTLER to this. He creates a dumbed-down football fanatic to perfection. And, that's what is also so great about Oswalt's performance. He's so much smarter than the character, and doesn't follow sports. He's a comic book nerd.

It's impressive.

Rating:

Defendor (2009) - Five-Dollar Hero

 On the Menu: DEFENDOR (2009)

Ingredients: Woody Harrelson, Kat Dennings, Elias Koteas, Sandra Oh, Michael Kelly, Alan C. Peterson, Lyriq Bent and Clark Johnson. Directed by Peter Stebbings. Run time: 101 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: On Groundhog Day 2010, I saw the trailer for DEFENDOR back when I first popped my ZOMBIELAND DVD into my PS2. I made a note to search out the movie once it hit store shelves. Two months later, I added it to my collection solely on the fact it stars Harrelson and Dennings.

By day, Arthur Poppington (Harrelson) is a shy flagman with a below-average IQ.

By night, he's Defendor, a self-made superhero with no powers, lots of courage and a below-average IQ.

His mortal enemy is Captain Industry, but doesn't know where to find him. Until then, he battles punks in the street on a nightly basis armed with a trench club, a handful of marbles and jars of wasps. Needless to say, he gets beat up quite often.

Arthur befriends a crack-smoking prostitute, Katerina (Dennings), who claims she was once Captain Industry's favorite girl. She's muddy on directions, but points Defendor to his foe.

The local police have been staking out the same villain, and Defendor is starting to get in the way of the sting operation. He's also attracted the ire of a bad cop, Dooney (Koteas).

Will Defendor save the day or will Arthur get himself killed?

Tough to Swallow: When we first see the wasps in Arthur's hideout, there is a box of flares next to the aquarium. A sticker on the box reads "DANGER FLAMABLE FLARES." Flammable is misspelled.

Such as fuss is made about Arthur getting agitated when people mispronounce "Defendor" as "Defender," but when Kat asks Arthur why he dresses up as a superhero, he says, "...when I'm Defender, I'm not Arthur anymore. I'm a million times better than Arthur."

In the last scene, there are newspaper clippings on Kat's wall. It's really only noticeable if you pause the DVD, but the second column of the Kristic story is a copy & paste version of the first column.

Not that it's terribly important, but I think the theatrical trailer should have been included on the DVD.

The synopsis on the back of the DVD case says Arthur "falls for a local prostitute." Obviously, the people who wrote that didn't watch the movie.

Second Helping: I watched the movie again with the audio commentary. The commentary is interesting, funny and sometimes politically incorrect.

Something to Chew On: DEFENDOR was filmed in Ontario, Canada.

The film had a limited 4-theater release and grossed only $37,606.

This is Stebbings's directorial and screenwriting debut. He wrote the first draft in 2005.

Stebbings also has a cameo as a doctor.

Ellen Page was attached to the film in 2007, but pulled out. She had described the script as "incredible" and  and "awesome" in an interview on ComingSoon.net. She is cast in a similar film entitled SUPER with Rainn Wilson, which should hit theaters in Fall/Winter 2010.

James Preston Rogers, who plays baddie Biker Bob, was a WWE wrestler named Big Deel. He apparently turned down a large contract to pursue acting. There was a campaign to have him cast as the lead in the upcoming Marvel flick THOR. Rogers didn't get the part. On a related note, Kat Dennings will appear in THOR.

The film currently has a 7.2 user rating on IMDb.com (8,820 votes).

Sides: There is audio commentary from Stebbings, Harrelson, Dennings and producer Nicholas Tabarrok. 

The DVD also includes 5 featurettes: "Origin Stories: The Genesis of Defendor (10:15)," "Removing the Costume: Behind the Screenplay (11:30)," "Heroes and Villains: Meet the Players (20:11)," "An Actor's Director: Working with Peter Stebbings (4:57)" and "Famous Last Words: Wrapping Defendor (10:39)."

There's also a blooper reel, 5 deleted scenes (three of which include the reporter character played by Lisa Ray) and 7 other movie/TV trailers.

Aftertaste: When I saw the trailer, I immediately thought of SPECIAL and MYSTERY MEN. Surely, this was going to be a quirky comedy full of laughs.

Not so fast.

This is a drama. More precisely, this is a tragedy with some laughs sprinkled around. I mean, here is a story of a man-child thinking bullets don't hurt him when he's wearing his hero costume. The movie generously diagnoses Arthur as having ADD and being "socially immature." He finds himself in dangerous situations, but he isn't smart enough to understand the gravity of those situations.

He's a dim bulb, but he hasn't lost his marbles. He has an infinite supply.

I'd say Defendor falls somewhere between Handi-man and Blankman in the superhero hierarchy, but the movie clearly isn't an offensive superhero parody (although I'd love for the Wayans brothers to make a Handi-man movie). It has heart, and teaches us that regular people can do extraordinary things.

Dennings is involved in most of the dramatic scenes, and she steals them. Koteas plays a great creep and corrupt cop, and has some comic moments with Harrelson.

Harrelson owns the role of Arthur/Defendor. He perfectly displays the powerlessness and childlike wonder of Arthur, yet still exudes the right amount of courage and confidence as Defendor. He's a hero the city loves and appreciates when he could just as easily be ridiculed.

On a side note, the end credits sequence is pretty cool.

THE MESSENGER. DEFENDOR. ZOMBIELAND. 2012. One thing's for sure, 2009 was the year of Woody...

Even more proof that ordinary can be remarkable.

Rating:

Harry Brown (2009) - ActionFest Buffet: Plate #2

On the Menu: HARRY BROWN (2009)

Ingredients: Michael Caine, David Bradley, Emily Mortimer, Charlie Creed-Miles, Iain Glen, Sean Harris, Liam Cunningham and Ben Drew. Directed by Daniel Barber. Run time: 97 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: Having only heard of the original GET CARTER and Caine's Harry Palmer movies, I felt obliged to actually see him in a gritty, head-busting role. I could not miss out on a British version of DEATH WISH starring Michael Caine.

Harry Brown (Caine) is a retired British marine and pensioner living in a rundown apartment complex in South London. He spends his days visiting his wife in the hospital and playing chess at the pub with his friend, Leonard (Bradley).

Drug-pushing, gun-toting juvenile delinquents have set up shop in the underpass near the estate. They even harass the old folks and randomly beat up passersby.

Things go wrong when Leonard tries to take matters into his own hands. Harry, who has put his marine days behind him, must decide whether to just stay out of trouble or stand up to the gang and set things right.

Some of the drug dealers start dropping like flies. The police chief suspects the deaths are a result of a gang war. Detective Inspector Frampton (Mortimer), on the other hand, thinks the evidence points to Harry.

Tough to Swallow: The movie is obviously set in London, but, apparently, the graffiti shown is by internationally known American graffiti artists.

Something to Chew On: Theater audience = 14. Numbers might be skewed due to the fact this showing and the start of the live-action stunt show overlapped.

This is Barber's directorial debut. His 2007 film THE TONTO WOMAN was nominated for an Oscar (Best Short Film, Live Action).

The movie won the 2010 Empire Award for Best British Film; the film was also nominated for Best Thriller. Caine was nominated for Best Actor.

The film's budget was $7.3 million.

HARRY BROWN just had its official U.S. release (April 30, 2010). The movie, released in 19 theaters, grossed $173,353 in its opening weekend.

The film currently has a 7.5 user rating on IMDb.com (9,255 votes).

Aftertaste: It's depressing and gritty, and the film, for the most part, seems to have the color sucked out of it to force that feeling. It's really, really gray at times. Maybe to show how foggy morality can be.

You feel bad for Harry. He's all alone, and his neighborhood is falling apart. But, on the other hand, you want him to remember his days as a marine in Northern Ireland and go beat the snot out of those druggie teenagers.

Not necessarily a lot of action for a movie in an action film festival. It's a dramatic thriller. I'm not complaing though. Caine is one of the best actors of all-time, and he doesn't disappoint here. You can liken Caine's vigilante to Clint Eastwood's performance in GRAN TORINO. Harry Brown is old. He suffers from emphysema. He lives alone. But, he has a military background and a breaking point. He really doesn't have anything to live for except for revenge.

It's a dark film that relies on Caine's powerful portrayal of Harry.

Really, though, some parts of the movie are rather disturbing and disgusting. There's definitely nothing pretty about this film. You're forced to want Harry to rid the streets of all the wrongdoers, even if they are misguided teenagers.

It's a vigilante movie. That's the point.

Rating:

Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) - Respect Your Elderberries

On the Menu: ARSENIC AND OLD LACE (1944)

Ingredients: Cary Grant, Josephine Hull, Jean Adair, John Alexander, Raymond Massey, Peter Lorre, Priscilla Lane, Jack Carson, Edward Everett Horton and James Gleason. Directed by Frank Capra. Run time: 118 minutes. Rated: Not rated.

At First Bite: This DVD came in the mail last Saturday, and it was a pleasant surprise since I hadn't checked my Blockbuster queue in a couple weeks (at least). I've yet to see a Cary Grant movie I didn't enjoy. The same thing goes for Frank Capra. This will be #13 and #6, respectively.

Mortimer Brewster (Grant) is a well-known drama critic and bachelor. He's even written a couple of anti-marriage books. So, it's a big deal when he decides to marry the preacher's daughter, Elaine (Lane). Before setting off on their honeymoon to Niagara Falls, they want to make a quick trip home to tell their families the news of the marriage.


Mortimer goes to see his aunts, Abby (Hull) and Martha (Adair), who live across the way from Elaine's father. Actually, they live on opposite sides of a cemetery.


While searching his aunts' house for notes for his next book, Mortimer discovers a dead body hidden in the drawing room. He suspects his loony uncle, Teddy (Alexander), who believes himself to be Theodore Roosevelt.


But, then he finds out about his aunts' charity work involving a room for rent and some noxious elderberry wine.


As if the house wasn't already full of crazies, Mortimer's brother, Jonathan (Massey), who is wanted for murder, decides to use his childhood home as a hideout. He is accompanied by his alcoholic surgeon, Dr. Einstein (Lorre).


Things get even more complicated for Mortimer when the local police decide to stop by to check up on his aunts, and he becomes aloof with Elaine while trying to sort out everything out and prove he's not crazy himself.

Second Helping: I ended up watching it three times in one calendar day (four times within a 24-hour period). That's how funny it is.

Tough to Swallow: The film is set during Halloween, but there is a Brooklyn Dodgers/New York (Yankees) game taking place as the movie opens. Postseason baseball never made it to October 31 until 2001.

As Jonathan is looking for Mr. Spenalzo, he tells Elaine that Dr. Einstein is "somewhat of a magician," but Jonathan's lips aren't moving.

There are a few continuity problems, but the only noticeable one is where Mortimer closes the door after showing Officer O'Hara out, and then the door is open again as Mortimer goes to leave.

The toughest thing to swallow is the lack of features on the DVD. I mean, this is a classic Capra film after all.

Something to Chew On: The movie is based on the Joseph Kesselring play of the same name.

Capra got permission from the play's producers to direct the film adaptation, but wasn't allowed to release the film until the play's run on Broadway was finished. Capra finished the film in 1941 in only 8 weeks, but the play ran from January 10, 1941 until June 17, 1944 (1,444 performances).

The play's producers agreed to give Hull and Adair an 8-week leave from the play in order to do the film. Alexander was also allowed time off for the movie, but Boris Karloff, who had the role of Jonathan in the play version, was denied permission to leave the play. Karloff was an investor in the play, but he was also the star attraction. Producers feared losing him would cause the play's attendance to drop. In the film, Massey was made to look like Karloff, and references to that resemblance are a running gag.

Bob Hope, Jack Benny and Ronald Reagan were all offered the role of Mortimer. Benny and Reagan turned it down. Hope was under contract with Paramount, who wouldn't let him be in the Warner Brothers picture.

Grant donated his $100,000 salary to the United States War Relief Fund. Capra enlisted in the U.S. Army Signal Corps during filming in 1941, but was given an extension so he could finish editing. He reported for active duty in January 1942.

Censors demanded one of the film's last lines be changed. The line initially included the word "bastard." The change includes the words "sea cook." Censors also had a role in reworking the fate of Mr. Witherspoon, the caretaker of Happydale Sanitarium.

I've read that one of the tombstones in the cemetery has the name Archie Leach on it, which is Grant's real name. After watching the movie four times, I still didn't see it.

The film currently has an 8.1 user rating on IMDb.com (28,476 votes). It ranks at #246 on the Top 250 list.

Sides: The DVD has a cast list and a short, text-only background on the making of the film entitled "Stage to Screen."

Aftertaste: It takes a second or two to get used to Grant constantly pulling faces and doing double-takes. Sure, it's over-the-top, but this is a ridiculous, and dark, comedy where stuff like that only helps.

Personally, I think the supporting cast is a riot, and they really upstage Grant.. The aunts are so genuinely sweet, yet see nothing wrong with their "bad habit." The character of Uncle Teddy is so outrageous it's brilliant, and Alexander does a wonder job playing it straight. And, it's hard not to smile or laugh whenever Lorre gets started, especially opposite Alexander. The Karloff gag is also a stroke of genius.

I normally don't laugh out loud during movies, but this one got me a couple of times. And, I'm pretty sure I've never watched a movie 4 times within a 24-hour time period.

I suggest you give this movie a look when Halloween rolls around this year. It's not going to scare you, but you'll die laughing.

Rating: