The Hunger Games (2012) - Starved of Intensity

On the Menu: THE HUNGER GAMES (2012)

Ingredients: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Hemsworth, Wes Bentley, Donald Sutherland, Stanley Tucci and Lenny Kravitz. Directed by Gary Ross. Run time: 142 minutes. Rated: PG-13.

At First Bite: I live in Western North Carolina, so I was bombarded with media buildup of THE HUNGER GAMES. Locals were predicting it would be the biggest box office smash of 2012. The news would feature stories on filming locations. I was sick of the movie before it had even finished filming, and I vowed not to watch it in the theater (much like my semi-boycott of AVATAR). And, since I had some surprise leftover gift card money from my wedding last year, I only spent $13 on the 3-disc Deluxe Edition DVD set.

A dystopian future has transformed North America into a new nation called Panem, which is split into twelve districts and the Capitol. In the past, there had been rebellion against the wealthy Capitol, so a lottery was put in place as retribution. Two children (one boy, one girl) from each district are randomly selected to participate in The Hunger Games.

The contest is pretty brutal. The Capitol has control over the arena, so if the game gets boring they might throw in some crazy beasts.

Oh yeah, it's all televised... and only ends with one survivor. And, the victor gets to live the high life afterward.

Katniss (Lawrence) and Peeta (Hutcherson) are the contestants from District 12, the poorest of the districts.

Do they have a chance?

Tough to Swallow: The 180-rule is broken in the scene where Prim gives the Mockingjay pendant back to Katniss.

There's a moment when Katniss is speaking to her mom and the camera appears to have been bumped. Why not reshoot that or edit it out?

There are a lot of continuity issues with Katniss's hair.

The Capitol citizens throw flowers to the tributes during the stadium entrance. In the overhead shot, the flowers are gone.

While in the tree, Katniss's sleeping bag disappears.

The cannon doesn't fire for Rue or her attacker.

I think the control room scenes are one too many.

The movie is over 2 hours long and the character development is pretty non-existent.

The whole idea of the "Games" is pretty R-rated, but the violence is very tame.

The wolf mutts (my favorite part of the book) are simply made out to be big dogs. Lame-o.

Something to Chew On: The film's $152.5 million opening weekend box office set a non-sequel record in North America.

Hailee Steinfeld, Abigail Breslin, Emma Roberts and Chloe Grace Moretz were among those considered for the role of Katniss.

Effie Trinket's name is never mentioned.

Suzanne Collins wrote the novel and co-wrote the screenplay. Her inspirations for the movie include a reality show, footage of the invasion of Iraq, Theseus, the Roman gladiatorial games, and the loss of her father when she was 11.

Cinematographer Tom Stern has been the director of photography on Clint Eastwood's last 10 films (starting with BLOODWORK in 2002). He's worked on 11 other Eastwood films as a gaffer, lighting consultant or chief lighting technician.

Aftertaste: When I heard the plot of this movie, I immediately thought of BATTLE ROYALE, SERIES 7: THE CONTENDERS and THE RUNNING MAN. Seriously, it's not really that original of an idea. It's like when I saw the trailer for AVATAR and said, "Hey, that's FERNGULLY in space."

So, with that and the constant local news stories about the filming of the movie, I felt predetermined to dislike the film. However, I had the same feeling before watching AVATAR, and gave it 4 stars.

Honestly, THE HUNGER GAMES isn't all that bad.

However, at 142 minutes in length, there's no reason for the movie to be lacking character development. They could have cut down on the control room scenes to focus more on the characters, especially some of the other tributes.

A lot of the context from the novel is also missing. What's the deal with the 3-finger salute? What was the meaning of Katniss's hallucination? If you read the book, you know the story of Haymitch (Harrelson), but the movie doesn't really touch on what his deal is. I don't think the movie is all that clear on why Katniss does some of the things she does, but, in the book, we know her thoughts and feelings since it's her point of view. Her relationship with Rue isn't quite as compelling as in the book, which kills what should have been one of the film's most emotional moments.

I like the look of the film: the grays of District 12 versus the crazy colors of the Capitol. The makeup was a bit much, especially for Effie (Banks). I know the citizens of the Capitol are eccentric, but there's no reason to pile on the layers and make Elizabeth Banks surprisingly unattractive.

The camerawork is okay for the most part. I'm not a fan of the shaky cam, but it doesn't bother me. Katniss's hallucination scene has to be my favorite of the entire movie.

Although the movie might not have made as much movie had it hit theaters with an R-rating, it would have been much more entertaining. The Hunger Games is a bloody event, but the movie is relatively blood-free considering it's a story of kids killing kids. This absence of violence is the biggest disappointment for me.

If you read the book, I can't say you'll be entirely pleased with the film, but...

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Rating:

ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Leftovers

On the Menu: THE RAID: REDEMPTION (2011)

Aftertaste: Possibly the best action flick of ActionFest 2012.

Rating:

On the Menu: THE DAY (2011)

Aftertaste: Like THE ROAD, but with young peeps, including the lovely Shannyn Sossamon.

Rating:

On the Menu: BAD ASS (2012)

Aftertaste: A real-life viral video becomes a vigilante flick starring Danny Trejo. It's WALKING TALL with a fanny pack.

Rating:

On the Menu: COMIN' AT YA! 3D (1981)

Aftertaste: The most fun movie at ActionFest 2012 not named MANBORG, but it's not purposefully ridiculous. It's just ridiculous.

Rating:

On the Menu: SLEEPLESS NIGHT (2011)

Aftertaste: This secret screening was a nice surprise. You'd never know Tomer Sisley is a stand-up comedian by trade. Dude rocks the action-thrillers.

Rating:

On the Menu: THE LOST BLADESMAN (2011)

Aftertaste: A little confusing with all the characters, and I was hoping for more action. More of a drama until the second half.

Rating:

On the Menu: GOD BLESS AMERICA (2011)

Aftertaste: Goldthwait's stuff is always risky/ballsy. Twisted and over-the-top, but I agree with most of the soapboxing when it comes to how our culture has devolved.

Rating:

On the Menu: WONDER WOMEN! (2012)

Aftertaste: A well-done mix of comic book history and girl power. Sometimes inspirational, too. I'm still waiting for the live-action Wonder Woman summer blockbuster. I vote for Gina Carano.

Rating:

Sinners and Saints (2010) - ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Plate #3

On the Menu: SINNERS AND SAINTS (2010)

Ingredients: Johnny Strong, Sean Patrick Flanery, Tom Berenger, Method Man, Costas Mandylor, Luis Mandylor, Jürgen Prochnow, Kevin Phillips, Bas Rutten, Kim Coates and Sonny Puzikas. Directed by William Kaufman. Run time: 104 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: Honestly, the only reason I marked this movie down on my ActionFest schedule was because Tom Berenger was scheduled to appear. I didn't know the plot. I didn't know who else was in it. I didn't know it was already on DVD. I just wanted to get my VHS copy of THE SUBSTITUTE signed by Shale himself.

Detective Sean Riley (Strong) has had it rough as of late. His son has died. His wife has left him.

After a raid goes bad, he's assigned to investigate a recent string of murders, where the victims are being burned repeatedly. One of the vics is the brother of a gang lord. Oops.

Hello, gang war.

Tough to Swallow: The mercenaries don't seem very well-trained or bright.

The majority of the "big" names in the cast only have a handful of scenes.

There is a credit for post-production assistant, but two people are listed.

In the credits, special contributors is misspelled as contributers.

Something to Chew On: Strong did the music for the film. He also did his own stunts. The dude is a black belt in Jiu Jitsu, an accomplished Mixed Martial Artist and makes knives.

The name of the bar in the movie is Boondock Saint. Flanery, of course, is one of the stars of BOONDOCK SAINTS and its sequel.

Flanery has now been in four films with the word 'saints' in the title. The first was PALE SAINTS in 1997.

Puzikas was also the film's tactical advisor. He is a former Russian Special Forces operative.

The movie was released on DVD on January 10, 2012 (three months before I saw it at ActionFest).

The film's showing at ActionFest was its domestic premiere.

SINNERS AND SAINTS 2 will go into production in the fall of 2012.

Aftertaste: Not a bad cop thriller considering it's a low-budget independent flick. It was actually filmed in New Orleans, and you'd never know it since we don't really see any landmarks or Mardi Gras parades. Instead, we get post-Katrina neighborhoods posing as cesspools full of drugs and gang violence.

The story is all over the place. The dialogue is lackluster. The acting, aside from Strong, is pretty sad.

But, but, but... there's lots of gunfire and people being burned. To me, violence is really the key ingredient for an action film. Schwarzenegger is as wooden an actor as there is, but his movies are fun because there are explosions, shootouts and people die in horrific ways. And, SINNERS AND SAINTS is full of intense, sometimes graphic, violence.

Kudos to Kaufman for using mostly practical special effects. Old school > CGI.

Kaufman says the sequel will have more exciting action, so I'll look forward to that.

Hopefully, the script will be better, too.

By the way, I got the VHS signed.

Rating:

Solomon Kane (2009) - ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Appetizer

On the Menu: SOLOMON KANE (2009)

Ingredients: James Purefoy, Pete Postlethwaite, Jason Flemyng, Max von Sydow, Mackenzie Crook, Alice Krige, Rachel Hurd-Wood and Patrick Hurd-Wood. Directed by Michael J. Bassett. Run time: 104 minutes. Rated: Not rated.

At First Bite: I had no expectations for the opening night film of ActionFest 2012. I knew nothing of the story. I only knew Purefoy and stunt coordinator Richard Ryan also teamed up for the first film presented at last year's ActionFest, IRONCLAD.

Solomon Kane (Purefoy) is an English mercenary/pirate who unfortunately meets up with the Devil's Reaper while helping himself to some treasure. Turns out Kane soul has been damned to Hell, and the Reaper wants to collect.

Kane escapes and tries to denounce his barbaric ways, but a sorcerer named Malachi (Flemyng) has created an army to wreak havoc and draw Kane to him.

Will he once more pick up his sword?

Tough to Swallow: The flashbacks ruin the main twist.

The Masked Rider's cape disappears after being set on fire.

Something to Chew On: Robert E. Howard created the pulp magazine character of Solomon Kane in 1928. Conan the Barbarian is Howard's more well-known character. He's also known for Kull the Conqueror.

Filming began in 2008, which was eleven years after the film rights were granted.

Christopher Lambert (HIGHLANDER) was offered the lead in 2001.

The movie was shot over 12 weeks time.

The film's budget was $40 million.

Purefoy suffered a head wound in a sword fight. The injury required five stitches.

This film is intended to be the first of a trilogy.

Aftertaste: I'll admit I was a bit disappointed to find out a 2009 film was opening a 2012 film festival, but it wasn't all that bad.

Watching Purefoy is like watching Gerard Butler or Hugh Jackman, but maybe slightly more enjoyable. He actually reminded me more of Butler in IRONCLAD, and more of Jackman in SOLOMON KANE. Let's hope he doesn't start doing big budget rom-coms. His performance here is solid. He makes for a perfect anti-hero.

Introducing the main villain at the end of the film is a mistake, in my opinion. And, the final battle is ho-hum. Overall, the fights are well-choreographed, but they are too sparse for a film like this.

One of the final confrontations is ruined by all the flashbacks. The twist is sooooooo predictable.

I love the look of the film. The cinematography and production design might be the best parts. Wait... the scene where Kane is crucified and works his way off the cross is actually my favorite part.

Perhaps, with the origin story touched on with this entry, the following two films will be filled with more decapitations and shootouts.

Let's hope.

Rating:

In Time (2011) - February Filmathon Film #10

On the Menu: IN TIME (2011)

Ingredients: Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Cillian Murphy, Olivia Wilde, Johnny Galecki, Alex Pettyfer, Matt Bomer and Vincent Kartheister. Directed by Andrew Niccol. Run time: 109 minutes. Rated: PG-13.

At First Bite: Looked like a fun sci-fi thriller from the trailer.

Will Salas (Timberlake) lives in a world where everyone stops aging at 25 years old. When that year is up the person dies unless they acquire more time. See, time is also the currency. You work to get time and that time keeps you alive.

Society is split up into Time Zones. The poor joes living hour-by-hour populate the lower zones. The rich, and elderly despite their looks, dwell in the fancy cities of the higher zones.

Will happens upon a butt-load of time, but only wants to bring the system to its knees.

Tough to Swallow: Will's mom (Wilde) celebrates her 50th birthday. Will comments that she'll be celebrating her 25th birthday for the 25th time. It would actually be the 26th celebration.

I wish Leon (Murphy) would have had more character development. He was the most interesting character in the film, to me.

Something to Chew On: Some characters have names of real-life watchmakers: Fortis, Kolber, Girard, Rado, Oris, Breitling, Nomos, Jaeger, Bell, Citizen, Ulysse and Hamilton.

Timberlake, Seyfried, Wilde and Kartheiser also starred together in ALPHA DOG.

Niccol also wrote and produced the film. GATTACA (4 stars), S1M0NE (3.5 stars) and LORD OF WAR (4 stars) are the other films he's both written and directed. 

Aftertaste: The plot is like something out of a Philip K. Dick story, but the film is more on the level of IMPOSTOR or NEXT rather than MINORITY REPORT or BLADE RUNNER. Niccol's film reminds me of LOGAN'S RUN mixed with ROBIN HOOD and a little BONNIE & CLYDE thrown in for good measure.

The concept of time as money is interesting, as is the feeling of immortality based on how "rich" a person is. The class warfare storyline will likely touch a chord with those who follow politics and the Occupy Wall Street movement.

Unfortunately, a movie can't succeed on concept alone. The movie is rife with plot holes. I don't quite understand why your "life savings" would be visible to everyone at all times (unless you wear a long-sleeve shirt). Or why it's so easy to just take someone else's life by grabbing his wrist. Or why we need to know about Will's dad. Or why there are so few police. Or why someone's personal security guards don't know one another. Or why rich people with lots of time think they're immortal when someone could simply kill them via gunshot.

It feels like Niccol didn't really know how to flesh out the story. He essentially took his wonderful idea and turned it into a chase movie with little to no resolution.

I like the cleverness of naming characters after watchmakers when your movie revolves around time.

It's an okay movie that could have been much, much better. The relevance of the social commentary is reason enough to take a chance on it.

Tick-tock though. Soon everyone will forget about wealth inequality and be focused on more important issues like birth control and abortion. *rolls eyes*

Rating:

Division III: Football's Finest (2011) - February Filmathon Film #5

On the Menu: DIVISION III: FOOTBALL'S FINEST (2011)

Ingredients: Andy Dick, Marshall Cook, Alison Haislip, Mo Collins, Michael Jace, Bryan Callen, Paul Henderson, Greg Fitzsimmons, Kevin Covais, Adam Carolla, Will Sasso, Debra Wilson and Sally Kirkland. Directed by Marshall Cook. Run time: 98 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: In honor of the Super Bowl, I wanted to watch a football-related movie. BIG FAN would have been perfect had I not already seen it.

DIVISION III is about a crappy football program at Pulham University, a liberal arts college. The previous coach suffered a heart attack, and the school president brings in Coach Rick Vice (Dick) for publicity. If he can't coach PU to a winning season, then the program will be cut.

So, it's a familiar underdog story... with Andy Dick.
Tough to Swallow: The school's name is Pulham University, but if you watch the movie with subtitles, it's Pullham University.

IMDb categorizes this as a romance?
Something to Chew On: Cook starred in, directed, produced, co-wrote and edited the movie. It is his feature debut.

Dick and Henderson are the other co-writers. Dick is also credited as an executive producer.

This movie is based on Cook's short film DIVISION III (2006), which also starred Dick.

Cook graduated from Occidental College, a Division III school, where he also played quarterback for 2 years.

Collins, Callen, Sasso and Wilson are all "MADtv" alumni. You know, back when "MADtv" was funny and the cast didn't go out and make EPIC MOVIE, DATE MOVIE and crap like that.

Covais was a finalist on Season Five of "American Idol." Remember Chicken Little?

Sasso played a commentator, the voice of Boo Venals and also did the voiceover in the beginning of the film.

Cook's mom has a cameo as the librarian.

Coach Vice wears a brace on his left leg. When he and Roy race down the sidelines, it starts to break. Roy yells, "Run, Forrest, Run!" Michael Jace was a Black Panther in FORREST GUMP.

The teabag scene really happened. Apparently, there were multiple takes done.

In the credits, one of the sponsors listed in the thank yous is Adult Chocolate Milk. I thought maybe it was a band, but it is in fact a drink.

There are outtakes during the closing credits.
Aftertaste: I've been disappointed with bigger comedies so far this month. BAD TEACHER and 30 MINUTES OR LESS didn't live up to expectations, considering the A-to-B-list casts. This movie, however, stars Andy Dick, so you don't expect anything more than offensive humor. Well, good news. DIVISION III has offensive humor in spades.

The team mascot is the Blue Cock. The rival mascot is the Cougar (there's also a team named the Beavers). There are lots of balls. And, the coach is borderline racist and slightly insane. Imagine the fun.

My favorite moments include the first pregame speech and prayer, and the food fight.

The story is old: Loser coach takes over a losing team and tries to turn things around. But, really, this movie isn't about the game. There aren't a lot of in-the-game scenes. The movie is more about the characters and the jokes. To me, even the final game takes a backseat to the commentary by Carolla and Sasso.

This movie was also my introduction to the lovely Alison Haislip (former correspondent on "Attack of the Show!" on G4).

I think just the fact that Andy Dick is a lead will turn people away from watching this movie. I don't necessarily like his antics, but I didn't find him that off-putting here. Heck, I even watched it a second time with the audio commentary (provided by Cook and Dick).

Get some. As Coach Vice would say.
Rating:

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011) - Happy Holidazed

On the Menu: A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS (2011)

Ingredients: John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris, Danny Trejo, Thomas Lennon, Amir Blumenfeld, Paula Garces, Danneel Harris, Patton Oswalt, Eddie Kaye Thomas, David Krumholtz, RZA, Bobby Lee, Richard Riehle and Elias Koteas. Directed by Todd Strauss-Schulson. Run time: 90 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: I had a free ticket for a 3D movie eating a hole in my wallet. Plus, having watched three horror movies over the last few days, I wanted to see something funny. Luckily, the midnight show was nowhere near sold out. I wouldn't guess too many Christmas movies get midnight showings, especially 3-4 days after Halloween. It did seem a little weird to me.

Even though it's been just three years since the duo escaped from Guantanamo Bay, six years have elapsed in the movie world. Harold (Cho) is married, drug-free and working on Wall Street. Kumar (Penn) is on the splits with his girlfriend, and always looking for a new high. The two friends haven't spoken in a long time.

Harold's father-in-law, Mr. Perez (Trejo), and the rest of the Perez family are visiting for the holidays. Mr. Perez even brings a Christmas tree he's been growing for the last eight years. A package addressed to Harold shows up at Kumar's, so Kumar decides to deliver it to his ex-best friend.

And, that's when things unravel. Just like old times.

Tough to Swallow: The feces on Todd's driver-side window changes pattern/position in the shots following the initial incident.

When we're first introduced to Adrian, he has his back to the camera for his first lines. His mouth isn't moving in sync with those lines.

The same sync issue crops up when Neil Patrick Harris is talking to Gracie on stage after the rehearsal.

Said rehearsal wasn't recorded, yet Harold and the Perez family watch it on television (in 3D) later in the film.

On Christmas morning, Santa's hat is lying on the floor in Harold's house. Right before the credits roll, Santa flies toward the screen wearing his hat.

Brett Gelman is credited as T.V. Director. You don't abbreviate television (TV) with periods. It's one word.

Something to Chew On: The famous triple-dog dare scene from A CHRISTMAS STORY not only appears in the film, but it's also reworked.

There are at least three 3D references in the movie.

Three sisters play the role of Todd's daughter, Ava.

NPH's partner, David Burtka, appears, not as himself, but as a crazy version of himself (just like NPH has done throughout the series).

Sergei (Koteas) watches MADEA'S FAMILY REUNION.

The movie will feel topical for those seeing it in theaters because of the scene with the Wall Street protesters.

In the credits, a song on the soundtrack is titled "Dougie Houser" (by Envy). Listening to the song on Amazon.com, the group pronounces the name Doogie Howser. I'm going to chalk it up to a copyright issue instead of two misspellings.

Aftertaste: This is only the second 3D movie I've seen in theaters (HP7: Part 2). This film uses 3D to better effect. Eggs and traffic cones actually fly at you, and the pot smoking scenes are much cooler to watch. Nothing really popped out at you during HP7. I don't really understand the point of 3D when the film would look basically the same without it.

However, the characters (and filmmakers) here mock the use of 3D. I like a movie that can make fun of itself, and be smart about it. I wouldn't say there are a lot of laughs unless you're actually a stoner. It takes a lot for me to laugh out loud during a movie. This sequel didn't reach that pinnacle, but I remember four things that induced an under-the-breath chuckle: 1) Wafflebot commercial, 2) baby girl on drugs, 3) NPH wiping his mouth and 4) the real-life events happening during the clay animation scene.

To me, the scenes with NPH are the funniest, which is no different than the first two films of the series. I'm a big fan of self-deprecating humor.

I will say I would not have paid full 3D price for a ticket to see this. I refuse to pay to see a movie in 3D. Unfortunately, I've now used my two free 3D movie tickets.

If you like the first two, then you won't be disappointed in A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS. I gave the original 2.5 stars, and the first sequel 3 stars. It's no BAD SANTA, but it is definitely an adult-themed Christmas flick that will draw the under-30 crowd.

Rating:

The Ward (2010) - Tricks and Treats Mini-Marathon

On the Menu: THE WARD (2010)
Ingredients: Amber Heard, Jared Harris, Mamie Gummer, Laura-Leigh, Lyndsy Fonseca, Danielle Panabaker, Sali Sayler and Susanna Burney. Directed by John Carpenter. Run time: 88 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: I purchased this on a whim. I was like, "Wow, Amber Heard. Directed by John Carpenter, huh? Okay." I couldn't remember the last time Carpenter actually directed a movie. A quick IMDb search revealed the answer: 2001. Unfortunately, that film was the ghastly GHOSTS OF MARS (1 star). But, the guy is also responsible for HALLOWEEN, THE THING and BIG TROUBLE LITTLE CHINA, so I took my chances with this one.

Kristen (Heard) is taken to a mental institution where the other residents are being terrorized by a ghost.

Tough to Swallow: Ominous, empty hallway shots are gratuitous for a film that's only 88 minutes in length.

A multi-girl shower scene with only side-boob? Come on. You were working with an R-rating here.

The DVD doesn't have subtitles. Not that it's in a foreign language, but sometimes I like to catch all the dialogue (especially when watching late at night while trying not to wake the wife).

The DVD commentary from Carpenter and Harris doesn't really focus on the movie itself. They talk more about directing and acting in general.

Pretty sure the credit for Taper/Plaster should be Taper/Plasterer.

Something to Chew On: Carpenter is known for composing the music for his own films, but Mark Kilian filled in as composer for this movie. Carpenter also didn't have a writing credit like he normally does.

Carpenter says this is the first film he didn't shoot in Panavision.

The movie was actually shot in an abandoned mental institution.

Gummer is Meryl Streep's daughter. Jared Harris is the son of the late, great Richard Harris.

Aftertaste: It's starts out as an interesting horror/mystery. People start disappearing and Kristen is searching for answers. Carpenter throws in numerous jump scares. Admittedly, I jumped once. I could sense it coming, but the scene was taking so long that I gave up on it. That's when he got me.

Heard reminds me of a blonde Jessica Biel. However, she might actually be a better actress. Problem is they both pick underwhelming movies. The first time I saw Heard was recently in the craptastic DRIVE ANGRY. Maybe THE RUM DIARY will turn things around for her.

The final reveal didn't surprise me at all. I'll admit I was expecting something more sinister. It's really difficult to talk about film comparisons without giving away the ending of THE WARD. You'll feel like you've seen this one before if you're a fan of Mangold, Shyamalan and/or Scorsese.

It's an okay psychological thriller with cheap scares.

Rating:

Bail Enforcers (2011) - ActionFest Buffet 2.0: Plate #6

On the Menu: BAIL ENFORCERS (2011)

Ingredients: Trish Stratus, Boomer Phillips, Frank Zupancic, Christian Bako, Enrico DiFede and Andrea James Lui. Directed by Patrick McBrearty. Run time: 85 minutes. Rated: Not rated.

At First Bite: For the 7-7:30 time slot on Day 2, I had already seen MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED! and LITTLE BIG SOLDIER, and could always catch THE WRAITH on Hulu if I really wanted to see it. Plus, I found out on Twitter that the film's star Trish Stratus would be making an appearance (I would have known sooner had I read the film's synopsis in the program). I did procure two autographs and a photo with her after the movie.

Jules (Stratus) is a bounty hunter. Her team nabs an informant who has a huge price on his head. The problem with cashing in is that the mob has a vested interest in this guy. What we get is a showdown between the bounty hunters and the mob boss's assassins.

Tough to Swallow: There's a continuity problem in the fight at the brothel/massage parlor. Chase (Phillips) tackles a guy, but seconds later we see him standing up in the background.

There's an odd scene where Chase and Ridley (Zupancic) drive to a hospital and come to a stop behind an ambulance. Jules is put into the back, and the ambulance drives off. Ridley gets out of his vehicle and tries to chase the ambulance down on foot. Huh?

Some shots are blurry and the lighting is off at times.

Personally, I think there are way too many scenes with the characters talking on phones.

Something to Chew On: The movie made its world premiere at ActionFest 2011 on Saturday, April 9 at 7pm.

This is the feature film debut of Trish Stratus. She also co-produced.

It was independently produced and filmed in Toronto.

BAIL ENFORCERS is McBrearty's second feature film directing gig. His first film was PSYCHO WARD (2007).

There are outtakes during the closing credits.

The movie's status is listed as "Unknown" on IMDb.com, and you still can't rate it yet.

Aftertaste: The acting is hit-and-miss. Zupancic is pretty stiff. He reminded me of Jon Hamm without the acting chops. Phillips steals the movie as the comic relief. Unfortunately, Phillips was the lone star of BAIL ENFORCERS not to appear at the festival. Stratus is the main attraction, and the camera loves her. We get to see her in a schoolgirl outfit, and there's plenty of butt cleavage in the gym scene.

The story is so-so. Again, it's the action that makes the movie worth watching. Fight coordinator Riff Havok pulls off some nice-looking fights in close quarters, e.g., a restaurant bathroom and the back of an ambulance. The ambulance scene might be the most impressive.

The whole time I kept thinking of BARB WIRE: hot bounty hunter who also works at a strip club. Pam Anderson got naked though, which was really the only redeeming part of her movie. She ended up with a Razzy.

I hope Stratus will use this as a springboard into bigger roles, and I'd be interested in her next venture.

Rating:

Charlie St. Cloud (2010) - Movie Marathon Drive-Thru Review: Film #18

On the Menu: CHARLIE ST. CLOUD (2010)

Ingredients: Zac Efron, Charlie Tahan, Amanda Crew, Donal Logue, Kim Basinger, Ray Liotta, Dave Franco and Augustus Prew. Directed by Burr Steers. Run time: 99 minutes. Rated: PG-13. 

At First Bite: It's FIELD OF DREAMS (Shoeless Joe included) and THE INVISIBLE, but with a love story.

Tough to Swallow: Pretty sure defibrillation, if done correctly, doesn't leave burns/scars.

Charlie takes the first familial reunion a little too well. There should have been some sort of freak out.

Basinger has about 1 minute and 5 seconds of actual screen time.

The credit for Animal Wrangler is misspelled as Animal Wranger.

Something to Chew On: The film is based on novel entitled "The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud" by Ben Sherwood.

Efron dropped out of the FOOTLOOSE remake and signed onto this film shortly after.

This is the third feature film directed by Steers. The others were IGBY GOES DOWN and 17 AGAIN (also starring Efron).

Aftertaste: Having never seen HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL or its sequels, my knowledge of Efron's acting ability comes from the aforementioned 17 AGAIN and this film. He definitely shows some range as Charlie and is easily the best thing the movie has going for it.

The love story is mediocre, and a little too much foreshadowing ruins the twist. Can't say I was a big fan of the younger brother either. The movie revolves around Charlie and Sam's brotherly bond, but Sam verges on mildly annoying most of the time. And, why did the mom just up and leave? Weird.

My favorite scene has to be the fight at the bar. Great "punch" line from Charlie.

I'll be interested to see what Efron does next.

Rating:

The Time Traveler's Wife (2009) - Movie Marathon Drive-Thru Review: Film #7

On the Menu: THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE (2009)
Ingredients: Eric Bana, Rachel McAdams, Ron Livingston, Arliss Howard and Stephen Tobolowsky. Directed by Robert Schwentke. Run time: 107 minutes. Rated: PG-13.

At First Bite: I'm a sucker for time travel and Rachel McAdams. Sue me.

Tough to Swallow: Henry has no control over when he travels yet tells Clare (in their first meeting) he'll be back Tuesday at 4 o'clock. Later, we're shown the scene of him sneaking a peek at Clare's diary where he explains he's trying to memorize the dates. Seems backwards to me.

In Clare's diary, the calendar for February 1984 shows 30 days.

On the train, Henry's mom is reading the Chicago Tribune, but page 3 is The Washington Post.

In the scene following the breaking plate, Henry runs across the street. There's a Canadian flag flying in front of the building. The movie is supposed to be set in Chicago.

During an argument in Clare's workshop, whatever she is working on continuously flips over between shots.

Time travel in this story is slightly different than we're used to: Henry can't change past events. Okay, but how is cheating at contests because of knowing the future results exempt from this rule? Or with past-Henry's sexcapade the night after the big argument? Sure, that's changing the present/future, but it's still meddling.

It's odd that more Henrys don't show up in the meadow at one time. I mean, Henry explains that his traveling destinations are caused by a "gravity" -- he's drawn to important places/events. So, wouldn't it be plausible and highly likely to see a big Henry party? Sometimes we see two at a time, but most often the case is one Henry leaves and is replaced by a future- or past-Henry (as if there can be only one Henry per instance).

Also, given what we know she knows, I wonder what Alba thinks of her maternal grandfather.

Something to Chew On: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston bought the rights to the novel before it was published.

Author Audrey Niffenegger wanted Adrien Brody for the lead. Eva Green wanted the role of Clare.

Pretty sure you get a nice glimpse of McAdams's backside. I thought maybe it was a body double, but couldn't see a break in continuity from when she gets out of bed.

A clip from the 1939 movie DARK VICTORY (featuring Bette Davis and Ronald Reagan) is playing on TV when Henry comes back from telling little Clare he's married.

There's a nice bit of foreshadowing in the scene where Henry meets Clare's dad. Note: Check out the mirror in every shot, and her dad's next-to-last line of dialogue.

One of the dates in Clare's diary is May 14, 1986 (my sixth birthday).

Aftertaste: Maybe, in order to really appreciate this movie, you have to forget everything you know about how time travel works in other films, books, etc. Yes, it was really hard for me to do. I imagine it would be like forgetting about all you know about vampire and werewolf lore in order to appreciate the TWILIGHT movies.

It's a love story, first and foremost. Time travel is just an obstacle to overcome.

Seriously, your brain will explode trying to make sense of the ending.

From what I've read about the novel's ending, it's very Nicholas Sparks-y, but I like it more than the movie's.

Rating:

My Science Project (1985) - Fair at Best

On the Menu: MY SCIENCE PROJECT (1985)


Ingredients: John Stockwell, Fisher Stevens, Dennis Hopper, Danielle von Zerneck, Raphael Sbarge, Richard Masur and Barry Corbin. Directed by Jonathan R. Betuel. Run time: 94 minutes. Rated: PG.

At First Bite: I first heard about this movie about three or four years ago from one of my then-coworkers, Paul. It sounded like something fun, so I added it to my Blockbuster queue. And, since my queue is consistently about 5-6 pages long, the DVD finally just made its way to my mailbox.

Michael Harlan (Stockwell) is a slacker, who is going to fail his science class unless he comes up with an amazing project. He's leaning toward something to do with cars since he's obsessed with them.

Looking for all the help he can get, Mike takes Ellie (von Zerneck), the nerdy girl, on a "date" to the old military junkyard. He stumbles upon a glowing device (almost like a plasma globe inside a metallic carrying case) with an affinity for sucking up all the electricity around it, including all the power to Mike's 1968 GTO.

Mike, his buddy, Vince (Stevens), and Ellie take the "gizmo" to their science teacher, Bob Roberts (Hopper). The gizmo goes berserk and sends Mr. Roberts back in time.

If that isn't bad enough, Ellie's even nerdier stalker, Sherman (Sbarge), happens upon the device. While Mike and Vince have been detained by police, the gizmo ends up taking over the high school by rupturing spacetime and introducing mutants, gladiators and dinosaurs to 1985.

Oops.

Does that mean Mike will still fail science?

Tough to Swallow: It's a silly movie all around. I honestly didn't look to nitpick this one to death. If anything, the acting could have been better, how would anyone believe a teen built the gizmo and why didn't anyone other than the kids notice the school had become the center of a major time warp?

I like John Stockwell. He was Cougar in TOP GUN. He directed BLUE CRUSH (one of my favorite guilty-pleasure movies). He looks the part of a slacker, but, as a lead actor, he's really hard to look at for 94 minutes.

Stevens's one-liners are hit-and-miss.

Something to Chew On: The movie was released August 9, 1985, which was 37 days after BACK TO THE FUTURE hit theaters. WEIRD SCIENCE (Aug. 2) and REAL GENIUS (Aug. 7) were two more sci-fi flicks that beat MY SCIENCE PROJECT to the punch. No wonder I had never heard of it before. Kinda reminds me of everyone seeing BIG enough times to memorize it, but not knowing about VICE VERSA, 18 AGAIN! or LIKE FATHER LIKE SON.

This film was Betuel's directorial debut. Ten years later, he helmed one of the worst movies of all-time: THEODORE REX.

Hopper dons an outfit from EASY RIDER for a scene where Mr. Roberts has been to the '60s.

A line of dialogue references the movie CHRISTINE, which also stars Stockwell.

Several TV shows are referenced, such as "The Flintstones," "Magnum, P.I.," "McCloud," "Kojak" and "The Brady Bunch."

Stevens went on to appear in Tim Robbins's 1992 directorial debut BOB ROBERTS, which sadly had nothing to do with Hopper's science teacher character of the same name.

The film currently has a 5.5 user rating on IMDb.com (1,812 votes).

Sides: There are no special features on the DVD.

Aftertaste: It's an '80s teen sci-fi flick. It's nowhere near as cool as BACK TO THE FUTURE, WEIRD SCIENCE or REAL GENIUS. It's definitely a notch below those although some of the effects are decent. The acting is okay. Stevens is the comic relief and livens things up a little.

I'm not going to say this is a movie you should run out and buy/rent. However, if you're a fan of the genre, I think you'll be entertained despite (or because of) the cheese factor.

I wanted to see it just to say, "I've seen it."

I will say that it might be Hopper's 3rd best film of the '80s behind BLUE VELVET and HOOSIERS.

RIP Dennis Hopper.

Rating:

Code of Silence (1985) - ActionFest Buffet: Plate #7

On the Menu: CODE OF SILENCE (1985)

Ingredients: Chuck Norris, Dennis Farina, Henry Silva, Ralph Foody, Bert Remsen, Joseph Guzaldo, Molly Hagan and John Mahoney. Directed by Andrew Davis. Run time: 90 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: How could I not see a Chuck Norris flick during a film festival with the man himself as the guest of honor? It was either this or BRADDOCK: MISSING IN ACTION III, and not having seen the first two made my decision easier. Plus, the program described CODE OF SILENCE as his "most critically acclaimed" film.

Sgt. Eddie Cusack (Norris) is a good cop, who prefers to work alone.

Unfortunately, an undercover job goes bad when an Italian gang gets to the targeted Colombian gang right under the noses of Cusack's crew. To make matters worse, one of his veteran guys (Foody) kills an innocent kid and plants a gun at the scene to save his job.

Now, there's an Internal Affairs investigation, and Cusack gets partnered with the rookie (Guzaldo) who was the bad cop's partner.

The Colombians want revenge on the Italians as well as Cusack, who is being shunned by his department for

speaking out against the old cop who killed the kid. This means Cusack is on his own.

But, that's just the way he likes it.

Tough to Swallow: The film introduces the Prowler, a new robot cop (you know, the kind that will one day replace human policemen). It's pretty much a mini-tank that's operated by remote control. Anyway, the sales rep (Mahoney) introduces it to the cops and hypes the "lightweight" remote.

Lightweight? Really?

There are a lot of continuity issues, but I didn't jot down any specifically (mostly dead bodies switching positions or things changing during chase scenes).

Something to Chew On: Theater audience = 14.

Clint Eastwood and Kris Kristofferson both passed on the film before it went to Norris.

This is Farina's second film credit. He made his debut in THE THIEF (1981).

Director Andrew Davis's father plays Felix Scalese, the godfather of the Italian gang.

Davis is from Chicago and likes to shoot his films there, including this one.

Davis went on to direct ABOVE THE LAW, THE PACKAGE, UNDER SIEGE and THE FUGITIVE (all of which employ a good amount of the same actors, including a few from CODE OF SILENCE).

Foody appeared in ABOVE THE LAW and THE PACKAGE, but might be best known for his role as the movie gangster, Johnny, in HOME ALONE.

The abandoned building Luna and his crew use as part of their raid on the Camachos was owned by two Chicago police officers at the time.

The film currently has a 5.6 user rating on IMDb.com (1,800 votes).

Aftertaste: I have to say I wasn't expecting a cop drama. I figured, since it was Chuck, there'd be more action. Don't get me wrong, there are some great stunts. The fight on top of the L train ending with a dive into the Chicago River is probably the most notable.

I think I was more interested in the subplot involving the crooked cop than I was the gang war/revenge storyline. Sure, CODE OF SILENCE is no SERPICO (by a long shot), but the characters are pretty good. Silva is a great villain.

Chuck proves to be a competent dramatic actor. Kudos to Davis and company for giving him a decent script and good direction. The two scenes where Cusack goes to fight the gangs on his own don't necessarily play out the way you'd think (the last one because it's a little silly).

What kills the movie is the Prowler. It's inclusion is totally pointless and ruins the seriousness of the story.

I imagine the critics liked this because it had DIRTY HARRY feel, and they hadn't been subjected to Steven Seagal movies yet.

Overall, it's a decent cop drama with some memorable stunts.

However, twenty-five years, a Total Gym and 8 seasons of "Walker, Texas Ranger" later, it will be hard for you to watch without chuckling (ha).

For me, the coolest part about watching this movie was, when I walked out of the theater after the credits, Chuck was about 20 feet away standing in the lobby. Why couldn't that happen with a Jessica Biel, Jennifer Aniston or Elisha Cuthbert movie?

Rating: