Nazis at the Center of the Earth (2012) - High Cheese Factor-athon Film #3

On the Menu: NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (2012)

Ingredients: Jake Busey, Dominique Swain, Josh Allen, Christopher K. Johnson, James Maxwell, Lilan Bowden, Marlene Okner, Maria Pallas, Abderrahim Halaimia and Trevor Kuhn. Directed by Joseph J. Lawson. Run time: 89 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: So, this beauty was the third and final cheesy flick of my cheesy flick marathon. Save the best for last?

A group of researchers in Antarctica, led by Dr. Riestad (Busey), stumble upon a giant hole in the ice leading to a breathtakingly beautiful land at the center of the earth.

One slight hiccup.

Dr. Josef Mengele (Johnson) is down there rebuilding the Third Reich and planning to take over the world.

It's just lucky the scientists show up because the Nazis are decomposing by the minute. Mengele could use an extra set of brains to solve the problem...

as well as any available leftover skin.

Tough to Swallow: The Asylum will make doctors out of anyone. This time it's Jake Busey.

The scientists are drilling into the ice and the drill hits metal, which appears to be only an inch or two below the surface.

The funniest CG moment is when the scientists discover the hangar -- the scientists are CG. The worst CG, in my opinion, is the UFO/warplanes shootout, especially the explosions.

The swastika on the back wall of the transplant room is reversed in the shot where Dr. Mengele first touches the face of the soldier.

The swastika on the outside of the castle and the one on the top of the spacecraft are also reversed.

The fancy German signs are out of place.

The credit for Set Decorator is misspelled as Set Decorater.

Something to Chew On: The budget was less than $200,000.

This is Lawson's feature directorial debut. He is also the visual effects supervisor for The Asylum.

The film took fewer than four months to make.

There is a theory that Adolf Hitler ordered a research journey in Antarctica to find an opening into the earth. Admiral Karl Dönitz mentioned "an invisible fortification, in midst of the eternal ice" during the Nuremberg Trials.

Of course, there have been several books about the possibility of Earth's center being hollow.

You'll hear a Wilhelm Scream in the opening scene.

This is the second movie Swain has appeared in that includes the removal of someone's face. Of course, the previous one was the 1997 blockbuster FACE/OFF.

The camera pans across four file folders in Dr. Mengele's organ transplant room. The folders are labeled: 1) Essen Babys, 2) Dreizehn, 3) Ich liebe es, Drogen zu tun and 4) Große Esel, Junge Dame. The fun part is when you translate those labels: 1) Eat babies, 2) Thirteen, 3) I love to do drugs and 4) Big ass, young lady.

I'm not familiar with the PC game "Wolfenstein 3D" (1992), but apparently the story and some characters are similar.

There's a really short scene at the end of the credits.

Aftertaste: Save the best for last, indeed. In my opinion, NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH is the most entertaining movie produced by the The Asylum. Granted, counting this one, I've only seen five.

The title will grab you. That's a given. However, it's all the other crazy stuff that will totally engross you. A good portion of it will just gross you... out.

Flesh-eating bacteria? Check. Face transplants? Check. Implied probing? Check. Vaporizing guns? Check. Uncomfortable shower scene? Check. Boobs? Check. Exposed brains? Check. Abortion? Check. Robots? Check. UFOs? Check.

The action doesn't pick up until the final act, but the gore and twisted content more than make up for it. And, when I say twisted, I mean seriously twisted. It's on the verge of being a torture porn flick.

Probably the most chilling moment is when the female scientists are being led to the showers. It's in slow-motion. There's ominous music. And, given the Nazi history involving showers, you know it's probably not going to end well.

Johnson, as Mengele, steals the movie. He's the perfect mix of creepy and evil, and plays it straight. He looks like Ian McKellen or John Hurt, but with a rotting face. He would definitely give Bill Oberst, Jr. (ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES) a fight if there were awards for best acting in a low-budget feature.

The rest of the acting is about on par with what you would expect from The Asylum.

I would say the only time the makeup effects don't work is with the "Mark"-face soldier.

Lawson's low-budget wonder and DEAD SNOW would make a great double feature on a cold, winter night.

Overall, I can't think of a way you'd be disappointed if you choose to pop this movie into you DVD player. I feel like I've talked this movie up as much as possible. It's all I can do.

If you don't watch NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, it's no skin off my nose.

Rating:

2-Headed Shark Attack (2012) High Cheese Factor-athon Film #2

On the Menu: 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK (2012)

Ingredients: Carmen Electra, Charlie O'Connell, Brooke Hogan, Geoff Ward, David Gallegos, Corinne Nobili and Shannan Stewart. Directed by Christopher Ray. Run time: 88 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: The B-movie marathon continues with another winner from The Asylum.

Professor Babbish (O'Connell) and his wife (Electra) take a group of eighteen college students on a Semester at Sea trip. Unbeknownst to everyone on board the Sea King, a two-headed shark has damaged the hull.

The professor and students use a dinghy to travel to a nearby deserted atoll in order to look for scrap metal. Then, for some reason, there are earthquakes and the atoll starts sinking.

College students + boats + earthquakes + two-headed shark = lots of blood in the water.

Tough to Swallow: Laura jumps in the water barefoot to repair the hull. When the shark appears she's wearing flippers.

The CGI scenes are ridiculous, but they're nothing compared to the glimpses you get of the man-made shark.

The acting is atrocious.

It doesn't help when you have to read lines like this:
Kirsten: "Ah, the water looks so nice. I just wanna jump in."
Kate: "No! Why do you have to ask so many damn questions?"

We're also supposed to believe O'Connell is a college professor and Electra is a doctor.

Sharks can't roar.

The distance between the Sea King and the atoll is very confusing. Some shots show the ship very far away, so there's no way the students on the atoll could see what was going on when the shark is chasing the speedboats. However, there are times when the ship looks closer to land.

Two guys are in a speedboat and spot something floating in the water nearby. Well, nearby ends up being about 100+ feet away from where they were.

The size of the shark is also all over the place. The survivors can spot the shark by the large fin that's always above the water. When the shot goes underwater to show the shark all of its fins are below the water, and none of the fins are as big as the one seen above water.

How were there any explosions at the end?

The credit for Production Coordinator is misspelled as Production Coordanator.

There are students named Kristen and Kirsten, but both credits are for Kristen.

Something to Chew On: The budget was $1 million.

Ray also directed MEGA SHARK VS. CROCOSAURUS starring Jaleel White.

Apparently, the shark's two heads were originally going to be one on top of the other instead of side-by-side.

Gerald Webb, who played the deckhand named Han, is also credited with casting the movie.

Aftertaste: Oh boy. Well, two girls get naked and make out, so it's got that going for it, I guess.

Seriously, the minimal eye candy is the only redeeming quality, and I'm not counting Brooke Hogan and her man-face. What kept me from giving only a half-star rating were the balls of Mr. Webb. Why? Because when you hear doctor, you think Carmen Electra.

See, this is definitely a drinking-game type movie. Maybe drink every time the shark jumps out of the water, every time the ground shakes, every time someone says 'atoll,' and every time Miss Electra has a line.

It is good to see her running in slow-motion again though.

Stick with what you know.

Rating: 

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012) - High Cheese Factor-athon Film #1

On the Menu: ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES (2012)

Ingredients: Bill Oberst, Jr., Baby Norman, Bernie Ask, Jason Hughley, Jason Vail and Don McGraw. Directed by Richard Schenkman. Run time: 96 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: The Asylum makes some really bad movies. You know, drinking-game type movies like MEGA PIRANHA and MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS with "stars" such as Tiffany, Debbie Gibson and Jaleel White. They're also really big on making cheaper versions of blockbusters and slightly changing the titles, e.g., TRANSMORPHERS, PARANORMAL ENTITY and SNAKES ON A TRAIN. Get it?

So, this is The Asylum's mockbuster of ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER.

Meaning, it's essentially the same story, but with zombies.

When Lincoln was younger, his mother was bitten and he had to put her down.

Later, the undead appear during the Civil War and Lincoln recruits a group of men to help him get rid of the threat.

Tough to Swallow: The Secret Service was actually created by Lincoln on the day of his assassination (almost two years after the action in the movie takes place).

If you're going to brief your men before a mission, why not tell them what their opponents will be and how to kill them?

Like cows, zombies sleep standing up and you can walk by them if you're quiet enough not to wake them.

Now, if the above description is what you're shoveling, why walk through a crowd of zombies without them noticing you, then shoot one in the head in order to make your getaway? And, how does a creaking barn door not cause a stir?

Lincoln instructs his men to kill the zombies by gunshot to the head or beheading. However, some die from gunshots to the stomach.

The Union had control of Fort Pulaski (Georgia) before the Battle of Gettysburg started in July 1863.

Stonewall Jackson died on May 10, 1863 in Virginia.

Theodore Roosevelt would have been three months shy of his 5th birthday in July 1863. The film portrays him as a tween or teenager.

Pat Garrett would have been 13 years old, yet appears as a 20-something. Also, he was never a Corporal for the Confederacy.

There's some automobile traffic in the background of the scene where Pinn has run off and Garrett is picking up his gun.

Running away from a train while running on the tracks is not wise.

Two years pass and Lincoln's beard loses its gray.

How do you get infected if a zombie only scratches you?

Something to Chew On: The budget was $150,000.

The film was shot in Savannah, Georgia and at Fort Pulaski.

Schenkman also wrote the screenplay and had a small role as Dr. Malinoff.

I was surprised to find a connection to GUT, which was the last film I reviewed. That connection is Jason Vail. He is the lead actor in GUT and plays John Wilkinson here.

There are bits of famous quotes thrown about and a Shakespearean moment while President Lincoln is praying.

There are 154 people credited as zombies.

Jon Cryer is listed in the "Special Thanks" section of the credits.

Aftertaste: Aside from the historical inaccuracies, sleeping zombies, obviously fake beards and so-so makeup, it's not necessarily a terrible movie. Overall, the acting is mediocre, but Oberst plays Lincoln wonderfully. He's the highlight of the movie, for sure. Oberst's performance is definitely better than president/vampire hunter Benjamin Walker's. Vail definitely has more lines here than in GUT, and he's the better for it. He can be pretty over-the-top, and it's perfect for a period zombie flick.

Perhaps, the best idea was the inclusion of the Wilkinson character and his "victory" in the end. What we know about Lincoln's fateful night at the theatre fits perfectly with where the story takes us.

Hey, it is what it is. I had low expectations and they were achieved. I'm slightly disappointed there were no "Dancing with the Stars"-type actors in the cast though.

Like all movies from The Asylum, it's good for some laughs regardless of how bad it is.

Rating: 

Gut (2012) - Maybe You Can Stomach It

On the Menu: GUT (2012)

Ingredients: Jason Vail, Nicholas Wilder, Sarah Schoofs and Angie Ballaro. Directed by Elias. Run time: 90 minutes. Rated: Not rated.

At First Bite: I received a random email back in November from "Gut Productions" asking if I would like to review their film. I replied back and asked for a screener DVD. Well, it arrived in the mail about a week later, but I never got around to watching it. I feel pretty bad about putting it on the back burner. However, I haven't watched ANYTHING since THE CAMPAIGN, which was the night before the election.

Needless to say, more movies need to be watched in 2013. Starting now.

Tom (Vail) is a family man with a 9-to-5 job. Problem is he seems bored with his life. Cue Dan (Wilder), Tom's goofy best friend since childhood.

Dan comes to possess what might be a snuff film and decides it's just what Tom needs to unwind.

Instead, Tom becomes unhinged.

Tough to Swallow: Not sure there was enough gore to be classified as a horror film.

Nearly every scene cuts or fades to black. I mean, it should definitely be the focus of a drinking game.

The pacing is painfully slow at times, and shots seem to linger too much, especially when nothing is happening.

Vail seems adept at acting with his facial expressions, but his delivery is stale.

The office setting leaves a lot to be desired.

I'm guessing budget constraints kept any police officers from making the cast list. Otherwise, I don't see how you can disappear from work for a day or two and be replaced immediately without someone calling the cops.

The ending will leave you scratching your head... or shaking your head. I didn't sympathize with either lead character because I never felt emotionally connected with them.

Make sure your pets aren't around for the end credits. The music is loud and irritating, and it made my cats freak out. I can't imagine the effect it would have on dogs.

Something to Chew On: This is the second feature film directed by Elias. His first was the 2006 film LovecraCked! The Movie.

Elias also wrote and edited the film. He's also listed as one of the producers.

Several crew members make appearances in the movie.

The budget was under $500,000.

The film was shot entirely on location in New York and New Jersey. Filming lasted approximately 28 days.

It was shot with a Canon EOS 7D (within two weeks of the camera's U.S. street date).

Won Best Feature and Best Special Effects in the 2012 New York City Horror Film Festival.

Producer Anna Ganster is also the director's wife.

Aftertaste: GUT does not depend on dialogue. I know some movie watchers are turned off by those types of films, e.g., CAST AWAY and 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. It doesn't bother me. Less is more, if done properly. The silence in GUT will probably make you bored because the film's pace drags so often. There are far too many scenes with characters issuing blank stares.

The acting is hit-and-miss. Wilder's Dan comes across as a slightly creepy oddball, who might be jealous of his best friend's wife. However, more often than not, Wilder himself comes across as awkward. Vail always appears seething, but struggles with delivering his lines. Schoofs might possibly be the best actor of the group even though she doesn't get as much screen time.

I think some of the best scenes in the movie are the ones portraying the "live" version of the snuff films. I still don't understand how we get that perspective if the DVDs are simply mailed to Dan. How are we privy to the behind-the-scenes stuff?

Now, the most impressive scene has to be Tom's first dream after watching the DVD. It just might be the lone highlight.

The soundtrack is definitely unsettling. I'd say it sets the tone and then some. Seriously though, hit the mute button once the credits start because the music turns into nails on a chalkboard really fast.

It's arguable as to whether or not the ending provides any answers to what transpired the previous 80+ minutes. Personally, I'd like to think the killer isn't an unknown figure and Tom is justified in his final actions. However, that wasn't my thinking while I was watching the movie seeing as how we're not given a concrete reason for us to think otherwise. Unfortunately, by the end, I didn't really care enough either way.

I sat down to watch this with no expectations. I was neither totally disappointed or blown away. This low-budget indie thriller could have benefited from experienced actors, better editing and a more concise script.

That's my GUT reaction.

Rating: 

The Campaign (2012) - Dinner & a Movie on the Ballot

On the Menu: THE CAMPAIGN (2012)

Ingredients: Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, Jason Sudeikis, Brian Cox, Dan Aykroyd, John Lithgow, Dylan McDermott, Sarah Baker, Katherine LaNasa, Karen Maruyama and Jack McBrayer. Directed by Jay Roach. Run time: 85 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: The wife had Election Day off, so she decided she could stay out a little later the night before. Normally, she wouldn't suggest a movie, but we have two movie theaters/restaurants in the area: Asheville Pizza & Brewing Company and Cinebarre. HOPE SPRINGS and TED were playing at the former. I suggested THE CAMPAIGN because I thought it would be fun to see the night before Election Day, plus it was a shorter drive.

Democratic Congressman Cam Brady (Ferrell) is running for his fifth term in NC's 14th District. He's running unopposed, but his campaign takes a serious hit when he accidentally leaves a racy message intended for his mistress on a constituent's answering machine.

Two dirty businessman, the Motch brothers (Aykroyd and Lithgow), urge Marty Huggins (Galifianakis) to run against Brady.

Things get shady. Then, things get scandalous.

Then, things get ridiculous.

Tough to Swallow: The H. Ross Perot quote at the beginning of the film says he was a presidential candidate in 1988. He didn't run until 1992. The quote is from 1996, which was the second time he ran for president.

I still don't really understand why Marty is coerced to run for Congress. Cam was running unopposed. The Motch brothers could have just helped Cam reinvent his campaign.

Something to Chew On: John Goodman has a cameo.

Marty's car has the license plate GEN-0101, which is a biblical reference.

Aftertaste: Over the years (2005-2009), I had grown tired of Will Ferrell. But, in 2010, he redeemed himself with THE OTHER GUYS and MEGAMIND (I've yet to see EVERYTHING MUST GO).

Unfortunately, this is one of those Ferrell movies where he seems to play the same character he always plays. The schtick is old. Even Galifianakis's Marty is basically a cut-and-paste version of his Seth character from his standup routines. The political jabs toward John Edwards and the Koch brothers just couldn't make up for the lack of laughs. The humor is crude, which is fine by me, but I thought it was going to be much funnier.

The funniest part of the movie, much like in TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY,  is the dinner scene involving the Huggins family. Well, I take that back. The funniest part is probably the Dermot Mulroney reference during the end credits scene.

Maybe this is a film that gets better with multiple viewings. Heck, I gave ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY a measly 2.5 stars when I saw it in the theater, and now it's a flick I'll watch every time it's on television.

But, based on first impressions, it just doesn't get my vote.

Around the Table:
"I thought it was funny, but I got a little bored." -- My wife.

Rating:

Hatchet II (2010) - Not Enough Treats

On the Menu: HATCHET II (2010)

Ingredients: Danielle Harris, Tony Todd, Kane Hodder, Parry Shen, Tom Holland, Ed Ackerman, AJ Bowen, R.A. Mihailoff and John Carl Buechler. Directed by Adam Green. Run time: 85 minutes. Rated: Unrated.

At First Bite: I watched HATCHET not long after it came out on DVD. I thought it was pretty decent (3.5 stars) and bought it. Why not watch the sequel then?

Marybeth (Harris) survived the first movie, but her father and brother did not.

She goes to Reverend Zombie (Todd) for help, and he enlists a crew to hunt down Victor Crowley once and for all.

$500 to risk my life hunting a hatchet-wielding killer?

I'll pass, but good luck.

Tough to Swallow: Love seeing Harris in another horror movie, but her acting here is atrocious. Her emotion and delivery don't quite jell. You can tell she's trying really hard, but it's painful to watch.

The first death is pretty silly, as is what happens to Reverend Zombie.

In a flashback, Lena dies, but you see her moving as the scene ends.

The blood spraying is gratuitous.

In the soundtrack portion of the credits, "Courtesy of" appears to be repeated accidentally on the third line of info for the song "Old School."

Something to Chew On: The original was released in 2006. A third film is set to be released sometime in 2013.

In the original, Marybeth was played by Tamara Feldman.

Aside from Hodder (Jason Voorhees in 4 films) and Todd (Candyman), the first film also included Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger). Joshua Leonard (THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT) and Deon Richmond (SCREAM 3) were also in the cast.

Harris appeared in three HALLOWEEN films: HALLOWEEN 4, HALLOWEEN 5 and Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN remake.

Some lines reference Jason Voorhees, the Blair Witch and Leslie Vernon. 

Holland, who plays Bob, wrote and directed CHILD'S PLAY and the original FRIGHT NIGHT.

David Foy plays Chad. In the original, he went uncredited as a hillbilly.

Shawn Ashmore and Emma Bell appear uncredited. They both also starred in FROZEN, which was also directed by Green. Green had to split his shooting schedule for HATCHET II into two parts due to promotional work for FROZEN. Schedule #1 was January 7-13, 2010. Schedule #2 was January 15-February 24. FROZEN hit theaters on February 5, 2010.

The news is on at Jack Cracker's place after he rescues Marybeth. The interviewee is Bell's character from FROZEN. Ashmore appears in an earlier montage as a fisherman.

Ackerman, Hodder, Green, Rileah Vanderbilt and Joe Lynch are all in HATCHET II and FROZEN as well.

Green also wrote and executive produced the film. He has a cameo in the movie as a guy puking.

One hundred and thirty-six gallons of fake blood were used.

A crew member is actually credited as Voodoo Fluffer. What exactly is that?

Aftertaste: Well, it's not as good as its predecessor. The acting, especially from Harris, is shake-your-head bad through most of the movie.

I don't quite understand the reason to go back to the swamp to face Crowley right after you escaped with your life. Yeah, you don't need to retrieve the dead bodies. Just call the police.

But, it's a horror movie. Duh.

I will say the kills progressively get better and more creative throughout the film, but the movie itself isn't really scary. It's bloody, sure. I mean, it rains buckets of blood, but there aren't even any jump scares.

What I enjoy most are the treats of the horror movie references.

However, those won't save this from being just your average splatter flick.

I feel tricked.

Rating:

The Cabin in the Woods (2012) - Spicing Up the Recipe

On the Menu: THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (2012)

Ingredients: Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Brian White, Amy Acker, Jodelle Ferland and Sigourney Weaver. Directed by Drew Goddard. Run time: 95 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: I thought this was supposed to be out on DVD months ago, but it was released just a few weeks ago. I made sure to grab it when it did.

Curt (Hemsworth) and his friends take a little vacation to the woods. Apparently, his cousin owns a cabin there.

Meanwhile, two technicians (Jenkins and Whitford) in a control room appear to be keeping tabs on the college kids' every move.

Something weird is going on, for sure.

Tough to Swallow: There are a few continuity issues, e.g., a disappearing football here and a disappearing towel there.

I don't quite understand the point of the elaborate "games." Are we to believe the "Ones" are actually watching?

Opening the film with the twist isn't as effective as having the twist more than halfway through.

Something to Chew On: The film had an estimated budget of $30 million. Its worldwide box office totaled just under $66 million.

This is Goddard's directorial debut.

Goddard co-wrote the film with Joss Whedon. Whedon is also one of the film's producers. Goddard was also a writer for Whedon's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel."

There are several horror movie references and homages, including THE EVIL DEAD, HELLRAISER, CUBE, THE SHINING and STEPHEN KING'S IT. A Reaver from Whedon's "Firefly" also makes an appearance.

The theatrical release date of February 5, 2010 was postponed because MGM wanted the film converted to 3D. The 3D release date was to be January 14, 2011, but MGM announced on June 14, 2010 it would be delayed indefinitely due to the studio's financial troubles. MGM filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy five months later. The release date ended up being April 13, 2012.

A tie-in with the PC/Xbox 360 game Left 4 Dead was canceled due to MGM's financial woes, but three of the characters from the game appear in the movie.

Aftertaste: It's difficult to really talk about the movie without spoiling it. Basically, THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is a deconstruction of the horror genre (think BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON or SCREAM or, more recently, TUCKER & DALE VS. EVIL). Why do friends always split up rather than stick together? Why does the virgin always survive? The movie answers these questions and more.

Personally, I prefer watching the technicians' side of things. Jenkins and Whitford provide the most interesting characters, by far.

Is the film too clever for its own good? Perhaps. It's not perfect. There are a few WTF moments that might leave you shaking your head. And, it's funnier than it is scary, which doesn't bode well for a horror flick. But, hey, it's the guy's first shot at directing. He did a respectable job.

What I can say is THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is different. It's nice to get away from torture porn and the never-ending list of horror remakes we see each year.

I think it definitely takes the genre and provides a much-needed kick.

Rating:

The Hunger Games (2012) - Starved of Intensity

On the Menu: THE HUNGER GAMES (2012)

Ingredients: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Hemsworth, Wes Bentley, Donald Sutherland, Stanley Tucci and Lenny Kravitz. Directed by Gary Ross. Run time: 142 minutes. Rated: PG-13.

At First Bite: I live in Western North Carolina, so I was bombarded with media buildup of THE HUNGER GAMES. Locals were predicting it would be the biggest box office smash of 2012. The news would feature stories on filming locations. I was sick of the movie before it had even finished filming, and I vowed not to watch it in the theater (much like my semi-boycott of AVATAR). And, since I had some surprise leftover gift card money from my wedding last year, I only spent $13 on the 3-disc Deluxe Edition DVD set.

A dystopian future has transformed North America into a new nation called Panem, which is split into twelve districts and the Capitol. In the past, there had been rebellion against the wealthy Capitol, so a lottery was put in place as retribution. Two children (one boy, one girl) from each district are randomly selected to participate in The Hunger Games.

The contest is pretty brutal. The Capitol has control over the arena, so if the game gets boring they might throw in some crazy beasts.

Oh yeah, it's all televised... and only ends with one survivor. And, the victor gets to live the high life afterward.

Katniss (Lawrence) and Peeta (Hutcherson) are the contestants from District 12, the poorest of the districts.

Do they have a chance?

Tough to Swallow: The 180-rule is broken in the scene where Prim gives the Mockingjay pendant back to Katniss.

There's a moment when Katniss is speaking to her mom and the camera appears to have been bumped. Why not reshoot that or edit it out?

There are a lot of continuity issues with Katniss's hair.

The Capitol citizens throw flowers to the tributes during the stadium entrance. In the overhead shot, the flowers are gone.

While in the tree, Katniss's sleeping bag disappears.

The cannon doesn't fire for Rue or her attacker.

I think the control room scenes are one too many.

The movie is over 2 hours long and the character development is pretty non-existent.

The whole idea of the "Games" is pretty R-rated, but the violence is very tame.

The wolf mutts (my favorite part of the book) are simply made out to be big dogs. Lame-o.

Something to Chew On: The film's $152.5 million opening weekend box office set a non-sequel record in North America.

Hailee Steinfeld, Abigail Breslin, Emma Roberts and Chloe Grace Moretz were among those considered for the role of Katniss.

Effie Trinket's name is never mentioned.

Suzanne Collins wrote the novel and co-wrote the screenplay. Her inspirations for the movie include a reality show, footage of the invasion of Iraq, Theseus, the Roman gladiatorial games, and the loss of her father when she was 11.

Cinematographer Tom Stern has been the director of photography on Clint Eastwood's last 10 films (starting with BLOODWORK in 2002). He's worked on 11 other Eastwood films as a gaffer, lighting consultant or chief lighting technician.

Aftertaste: When I heard the plot of this movie, I immediately thought of BATTLE ROYALE, SERIES 7: THE CONTENDERS and THE RUNNING MAN. Seriously, it's not really that original of an idea. It's like when I saw the trailer for AVATAR and said, "Hey, that's FERNGULLY in space."

So, with that and the constant local news stories about the filming of the movie, I felt predetermined to dislike the film. However, I had the same feeling before watching AVATAR, and gave it 4 stars.

Honestly, THE HUNGER GAMES isn't all that bad.

However, at 142 minutes in length, there's no reason for the movie to be lacking character development. They could have cut down on the control room scenes to focus more on the characters, especially some of the other tributes.

A lot of the context from the novel is also missing. What's the deal with the 3-finger salute? What was the meaning of Katniss's hallucination? If you read the book, you know the story of Haymitch (Harrelson), but the movie doesn't really touch on what his deal is. I don't think the movie is all that clear on why Katniss does some of the things she does, but, in the book, we know her thoughts and feelings since it's her point of view. Her relationship with Rue isn't quite as compelling as in the book, which kills what should have been one of the film's most emotional moments.

I like the look of the film: the grays of District 12 versus the crazy colors of the Capitol. The makeup was a bit much, especially for Effie (Banks). I know the citizens of the Capitol are eccentric, but there's no reason to pile on the layers and make Elizabeth Banks surprisingly unattractive.

The camerawork is okay for the most part. I'm not a fan of the shaky cam, but it doesn't bother me. Katniss's hallucination scene has to be my favorite of the entire movie.

Although the movie might not have made as much movie had it hit theaters with an R-rating, it would have been much more entertaining. The Hunger Games is a bloody event, but the movie is relatively blood-free considering it's a story of kids killing kids. This absence of violence is the biggest disappointment for me.

If you read the book, I can't say you'll be entirely pleased with the film, but...

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Rating:

Foodie (2012) - A True Delicacy

On the Menu: FOODIE (2012)

Ingredients: Nick Karner, David Berberian, Jeff Alguire, Tony Hughes, Meredith Leigh Sause, Tracey Coppedge, Emlee Vassilos, Gilly Conklin, John Jimerson and Alena Koch. Directed by Christopher G. Moore. Run time: 29 minutes. Rated: Not rated.

At First Bite: A friend and former coworker, Christopher Moore, has made some pretty impressive short films in the last few years: HARD STAPLED, BURSTERS, I SEE U and FLUSH WITH FEAR. And, they've progressively gotten better. FOODIE is his latest, and it's making the rounds on the festival circuit.

C-Mo, as I affectionately call him, was my boss back when I worked at a video store while in college. Everyone there knew he would be doing stuff like this eventually. And, we all knew he'd be great at it.

Mueller (Karner) loves food. It's what he lives for, and the culmination of his existence occurs when his co-worker, Chef Lando (Berberian), invites him to attend a top-secret supper club called Kitchen X.

The other attendees include the host chef, Brandon X (Hughes), Teddy (Sause), French Milt (Alguire), Darla (Vassilos), Shannon (Conklin) and the wine aficionados, Beth (Coppedge) and Greg (Jimerson).

First rule of Kitchen X? You do not talk about Kitchen X.

Oops.

Second Helping: Honestly, I've watched the movie about 8 times just to make sure I got my fill. There's more pressure when you're writing a review for someone you know, and you want to give your best effort.

Tough to Swallow: The wine commercial ran a little long for my tastes (about 30 seconds too long). We get the gist of Beth and Greg's obsession with the S&M portion, and there's enough of their crazy left over to see at dinner. Also, I think we should have seen the ad from Mueller's perspective only -- its TV quality makes it stand out from the crispness of the rest of the film.

The quality of audio changes during Mueller's phone conversation with Hannah. It's most notable at the end. Perhaps his last couple lines were added in later because they sound more hollow than the rest.

The cell phone has no service when Mueller answers it.

Mueller's scream can be heard in the dining room, but Greg's scream, a room closer to the dinner guests, goes pretty much unnoticed.

The blood smear on the fridge varies by shot.

The focus is soft here and there.

To me, the introduction to the bathtub scene might have worked better had it been a slow reveal.

I question why Mueller receives the invitation. Food is his life. There isn't a motive for his selection. I'd understand the choice if he had run a competing restaurant out of business, made someone sick, fired someone, etc. It would seem just as easy to create a similar scheme for someone like Shannon Von Vuster, whose ties to food go unmentioned, or blogger Darla, who might have written a bad review.

After multiple viewings, Brandon's accent begins to become unappetizing. I think maybe it was just that the actor repeatedly uses a filler in mid-sentence ("I would like to thank Beth and, uh, Greg for pairing this with their lovely pinot from, uh, Stover Creek.")

Something to Chew On: Moore directed, co-wrote, produced and edited the film. He also shares the credit for visual effects.

The budget was $3,326, which was raised through Kickstarter.

Co-writer and co-producer Eryk Pruitt is also credited as an extra. He is also the owner of the bathtub.

Moore said he came onto the film in August 2011 and worked on pre-production until shooting began in November. Shooting continued into December, and pick-up shots were filmed in January. The first screening was April 28 at the Cape Fear Independent Film Festival.

Exteriors of Kitchen X were shot at The Myers House in Hillsborough, NC.

Brandon's ringtone is the theme from Moore's BURSTERS.

POV shots were influenced by Jonathan Demme's SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. BBC's "Sherlock" inspired some transitions.

Being a STAR WARS geek, I'm sure Moore had something to do with the naming of Chef Lando.

I think there is a nod to FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF as well (when Hannah calls Mueller's name twice on the phone).

FOODIE was nominated for Best Horror at the 2012 Cape Fear Independent Film Festival.

The flick won the Grand Prize award for Best Original Fiction at the 2012 ConCarolinas Short Film Festival.

Don't confuse this film with the 2012 13-minute short called FOODIE directed by Aaron Rudelson.

Check out this clever bit of marketing (1 of 6):

Aftertaste: I feel really awful that it took me nearly a month to get this review out into the world.

Note to self: Make sure you're connected to the internet when typing a full review on your blog. The reason? Because your computer automatically saves your progress if you're connected, and you'll have that backup if your computer decides to freeze. Otherwise, you have to start over from scratch, which, as you can see by the length of this review, is a pain in the rump.

Okay, on to the review. I was really excited to see this film. I would say the horror comedy is my favorite of all genres. Plus, it's a movie where food is front and center, which is perfect for this blog.

The opening title sequence is very impressive. Seriously, it's probably one of my favorite things about the film. It really gets your mouth watering.

The writing is smart. We're introduced to a ridiculous amount of foodie vocabulary, which might as well have been Greek. The one-liners aren't too cheesy and don't feel forced. Credit also goes to the actors. Most of the them seem to deliver their lines with ease. The character of Beth is a little overpowering, but I don't fault Coppedge in her acting. Mueller, on the other hand, is rather bland for a protagonist. As far as the best characters go, French Milt and Chef Lando take the cake.

Camerawork is another plus. My favorite moments include Mueller walking down the hallway, the canted angle shot when Brandon announces dinner is ready, and the low angle shot in the kitchen near the end. I was also very pleased with the editing. The transition from the inside of Mueller's car to the outside of Kitchen X is pretty sweet. Two other transitions I enjoyed are choice cuts on sound, e.g., the clinking of wine glasses --> Hannah and her wine glass, and the thud on the floor --> Mueller opening his eyes.

The inclusion of Darla's "tweet" is a fun touch as well.

I have to say the special effects are awesome considering the budget. Normally, I'm okay with movie blood, but the scene with the cleaver almost made my stomach turn every time. It's rather unsavory. Funnily enough, the only other movie to make me feel similar was RULES OF ATTRACTION, and it was also a scene featuring a bathtub (I almost passed out).

The final shot of the film is, by far, is my favorite thing of all. Just exquisite.

Watching FOODIE reminded me of a little of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME and the 1995 black comedy THE LAST SUPPER, which would be a nice pairing if you were planning on a movie night. Other enticing double-feature ideas would be DELICATESSEN, PARENTS, EATING RAOUL and RAVENOUS.

Moore's FOODIE might be just around 30 minutes long, but it brings a lot to the table. Sure, it's not perfect, but every film has its gristle.

So, look for this at a film festival near you. If you aren't lucky enough to find a screening, keep up with the film on Facebook or its own website.

And, if you've seen FOODIE and don't agree with me that it's finger lickin' good...

Eat me.

Rating:

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) - It Bites

On the Menu: ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER (2012)

Ingredients: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Rufus Sewell, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jimmi Simpson, Marton Csokas and Erin Wasson. Directed by Timur Bekmambetov. Run time: 105 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: Seth Grahame-Smith's novel is one of my favorite books of the last five years. I can't say I was shocked to find out there was going to be a movie version, but I was definitely psyched to see it. Without a second thought, I spent the required $15 for the 3D version in an RPX theater (60-ft screen, dual 30K lumen digital projectors and 100,000-watt sound system) for the midnight premiere.

Abraham Lincoln (Walker) turns to vampire hunting after one of the monsters kills his mother.

A vampire hunter named Henry (Cooper) helps Abe and takes him under his wing, and recruits him to kill evil vampires.

Tough to Swallow: The movie is loosely based on the novel. Really loose. So loose, in fact, the only things it really has in common with the book are Abraham Lincoln and vampires.

Jack Barts (Csokas) plays too prominent of a role, and two other baddies have been invented.

Henry's origin story is different (the book's version is awesome) and the truth about him doesn't come out until about an hour into the movie.

Will Johnson (Mackie) is a brand new character and plays a significant role, while several more important characters are missing completely.

Vampires can't kill vampires? Silver? Invisibility?

The second floor balcony of the White House is visible a few times. It wasn't there until the late 1940s.

The most disappointing part was the ending. The movie quits two endings before the book did.

Something to Chew On: Based on the novel by Seth Grahame-Smith, who also wrote the screenplay. Apparently, there were many, many drafts, and another writer came in while Grahame-Smith took time to work on DARK SHADOWS.

Walker beat out Timothy Olyphant, Eric Bana, Adrien Brody, Josh Lucas, Oliver Jackson-Cohen and James D'Arcy for the role of Lincoln.

Tom Hardy had to turn down the role of Lincoln due to scheduling conflicts with THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.

Joaquin Phoenix turned down the role of Henry.

Alan Tudyk, probably one of the bigger names of the cast, appears uncredited as Stephen A. Douglas.

Aftertaste: Man, I was really disappointed with this movie. Would I have enjoyed it more if I hadn't read the novel first? Possibly.

But, then I would have read the book after watching the movie, and still been pissed about the movie.

I kept thinking about how about Benjamin Walker reminded me of Liam Neeson and Eric Bana. I also kept thinking they should have tried to get Nathan Fillion to play Abe. More star power probably would have helped.

The action is decent, but over-the-top, especially in the stampede and train scenes.

Essentially, Bekmambetov took a brilliant mix of history and fiction and tried to turn it into a straight-up action thriller. Ugh. It's so infuriating. This should not have been a summer blockbuster-type film in 3D. It should have been a smart, 2D horror flick released sometime closer to Halloween.

In conclusion, read the book and don't watch the movie.

Or, watch the movie and don't read the book.

Otherwise, you'll be in for a letdown.

It's really like taking a stake to the heart.

Sorry. Just being honest, Abe.

Rating:

Manborg (2011) - ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Plate #5

On the Menu: MANBORG (2011)

Ingredients: Matthew Kennedy, Ludwig Lee, Meredith Sweeney, Conor Sweeney, Adam Brooks, Jeremy Gillespie and Andrea Karr. Directed by Steven Kostanski. Run time: 60 minutes. Rated: Not rated.

At First Bite: The late-night movies at ActionFest are usually the best, e.g., TUCKER & DALE VS EVIL and HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. So, I made sure to secure a ticket to MANBORG.

A soldier (Kennedy) dies while he and his brother are fighting the evil Draculon (Brooks) and his army. He's brought back to life as a half-man, half-cyborg.

Draculon now rules the world.

Manborg, as he now calls himself, teams up with Mina (Sweeney), Justice (Sweeney) and #1 Man (Lee) to fight Draculon and his Killborgs.

Tough to Swallow: I can't think of anything bad to say, except I wish it were longer than 60 minutes.

Something to Chew On: The budget was an estimated $1,000.

Brooks portrayed both Draculon and Doctor Scorpius.

The director is also credited as playing Assorted Killborgs.

Kyle Hebert is the voice of #1 Man.

Regional premiere at ActionFest 2012.

Won the 2012 Spirit of ActionFest Award.

We were told before the movie to yell "Manborg!" if there should be a technical issue with the projection/sound. Funnily, the following day, people were yelling this when other films had problems or while simply waiting for a film to start.

Raven Banner Entertainment picked up the distribution rights back in February, so hopefully a DVD is on the way soon.

Aftertaste: It would be very easy to confuse MANBORG with a straight-to-VHS flick from the '80s, and for good reason. The filmmakers at Astron-6 make these types of movies for a living. They purposefully made the company name sound like Vestron, which was responsible for EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY, BIG MAN ON CAMPUS, DREAM A LITTLE DREAM and, surprisingly, DIRTY DANCING. A number of Vestron's films haven't been released on DVD despite the library now being owned by Lionsgate.

Anyway...

Here we have a low-budget work of art. It was all filmed in a garage on a green screen. Manborg's costume is made from everyday scraps painted to metallic. Throw in some voice dubbing, some stop-motion animation and some lasers, and it's like you're in nerd heaven.

There's so much involved in this movie, it's difficult to believe it's only an hour long.

The Baron might be the film's best character. He's a baddie with a soft spot for one of his prisoners. He's the comic relief in a movie full of ridiculousness. Of course, having #1 Man's voice dubbed makes him pretty hilarious as well.

Call it a poor man's ROBOCOP. Or a poor man's TERMINATOR. Throw in some TRON and make it a comedy.

Just remember it looks the way it does on purpose.

Rating:

Prometheus (2012) - Like Beautiful Swiss Cheese

On the Menu: PROMETHEUS (2012)

Ingredients: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, Charlize Theron, Logan Marshall-Green, Idris Elba, Rafe Spall, Sean Harris, Kate Dickie, Emun Elliott and Benedict Wong. Directed by Ridley Scott. Run time: 124 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: The trailer looked pretty cool, but I can't say I was anxiously anticipating the film's release. However, my co-worker Jared was totally psyched to see it. So, we checked out the opening midnight show.

It's 2089. A couple of archaeologists, Shaw (Rapace) and Holloway (Marshall-Green), have discovered a map in cave drawings from around the world. They believe it's an invitation from our creators.

Four years later, Weyland Corporation sends a crew of top scientists, along with an android named David (Fassbender), aboard the spaceship Prometheus to find answers to the origin of mankind.

Of course, things don't go quite as planned.

Tough to Swallow: David tells Vickers the crew has been in hyper sleep for 2 years, 4 months, 18 days, 36 hours and 15 minutes. 36 hours? How many hours are in a day in the year 2093?

In Shaw's dreams, she is a child speaking to her father, but we see the child. Most of my dreams are from my point-of-view.

Pretty sure David would have had to learn more than symbols to be able to SPEAK the alien language.

You'd think top scientists wouldn't want to contaminate an alien planet. Seems like there is no protocol at all in this movie.

The decapitated Engineer's head wouldn't gurgle without lungs.

Something to Chew On: PROMETHEUS is a spin-off of ALIEN, not a prequel. Although, it comes really close to being a prequel.

The film was originally titled PARADISE (December 2010).

Carey Mulligan, Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway and Olivia Wilde were a few actresses considered for the role of Shaw.

James Franco was considered for the role of Holloway.

Michelle Yeoh was considered for the role of Vickers.

Patrick Wilson appears in a dream as Shaw's father.

Ian Whyte, who plays the Last Engineer, has also been cast as predators in the ALIEN VS. PREDATOR series.

The Weyland logo appears as part of David's fingerprint.

At the end of the credits, a logo appears and reads "Brought to you by Weyland Corporation - Building better worlds. Since 10/11/12."

Aftertaste: I've seen all the ALIEN films, but I'm not a fan boy when it comes to the series, which is probably why Jared was more disappointed in the movie than I was.

To me, the best part of PROMETHEUS is its look. I wouldn't be surprised to see an Oscar nomination/win for Best Art Direction.

Fassbender and Rapace are the two bright spots in the cast. Fassbender's David is the most intriguing character, by far. He's an android with a thirst for knowledge, a love of LAWRENCE OF ARABIA and a super-creepy vibe. The creepiness comes into play because he seems to be programmed to be curious and mischievous for no reason.

Shaw has the best scene of the movie. I won't ruin it for you, but it involves the med pod.

So, that's three things the movie has going for it. I'll make it four by adding the connection to Greek mythology. I love me some Greek mythology.

Prometheus is known for creating humans from clay and stealing fire from the gods. He gave the fire to humans and was punished by the gods for it. Okay. I think the Engineers represent Prometheus, the black goo is the fire and the xenomorphs are the gods. The recordings of the Engineers running to escape something seem to suggest a form of punishment, perhaps, but for what? Giving the black goo to humans? That is yet to be seen.

The science parts are just too laughable to take seriously. I spent most of the 124 minutes shaking my head.

People are complaining that the film leaves too many questions unanswered. Eh. Whatever.

There will be a sequel, I'm sure. Luckily, I don't have to worry about as many crappy scientists next time around.

Despite the numerous holes in logic, PROMETHEUS is visually stunning.

Rating:

Transit (2012) - ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Plate #4

On the Menu: TRANSIT (2012)

Ingredients: Jim Caviezel, James Frain, Harold Perrineau, Diora Baird, Ryan Donowho, Sterling Knight, Elisabeth Röhm and Jake Cherry. Directed by Antonio Negret. Run time: 88 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: The 9:30/9:45 time slot came down to either TRANSIT or the Swedish flick HEADHUNTERS. My buddy, Chris, picked the former, so I accompanied him. HEADHUNTERS was playing the next day, and this was the only showing of TRANSIT.

Nate (Caviezel) is taking his family on a camping trip in hopes to reconnect with his sons and regain the trust of his wife. See, Nate just served 18 months in the pokey for real estate fraud.

A foursome of bank robbers, led by Marek (Frain), is looking to sneak passed the roadblocks set up to catch them. The family's taken a pit stop, and the robbers spot their vehicle, which is loaded down with camping gear. Perfect. Just take one of the bags and switch out the gear for the stolen cash, then retrieve it later down the road.

Really, how could this plan go wrong?

Tough to Swallow: I question the effectiveness of police roadblocks that ignore suspect profiles.

The audio dropped out right before the hotel rampage scene. After about four minutes the projectionist fixed the problem, but we didn't get to go back and listen to what we missed.

Marek throws a machete, if I remember correctly, at Nate's vehicle. It smashes the windshield, but the windshield is fine in subsequent scenes.

Logic gets thrown out the window several times. Seriously, based on their actions later in the movie, how were the antagonists smart enough to rob a bank in the first place? How did the guy in the boat know something was hidden in the swamp?

Something to Chew On: North American premiere at ActionFest 2012.

Frain won the award for Best Villain at ActionFest 2012.

The film's budget was an estimated $5 million.

Aftertaste: It's a fairly intense thriller with some amazing stunt driving. However, the dialogue is laughable and the characters are stupid. The cheese factor is very high here. I can't remember the number of facepalms I made while listening to the family's conversations.

I spent most of the time wishing Nate would just forget about his family. They suck for the most part, especially his wife.

The quick pace somewhat masks the ridiculous script, but not entirely. Luckily, the run time is only 88 minutes.

I can't recommend this one... unless you're looking for intensity with a big side of crap.

Rating: