Nazis at the Center of the Earth (2012) - High Cheese Factor-athon Film #3

On the Menu: NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (2012)

Ingredients: Jake Busey, Dominique Swain, Josh Allen, Christopher K. Johnson, James Maxwell, Lilan Bowden, Marlene Okner, Maria Pallas, Abderrahim Halaimia and Trevor Kuhn. Directed by Joseph J. Lawson. Run time: 89 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: So, this beauty was the third and final cheesy flick of my cheesy flick marathon. Save the best for last?

A group of researchers in Antarctica, led by Dr. Riestad (Busey), stumble upon a giant hole in the ice leading to a breathtakingly beautiful land at the center of the earth.

One slight hiccup.

Dr. Josef Mengele (Johnson) is down there rebuilding the Third Reich and planning to take over the world.

It's just lucky the scientists show up because the Nazis are decomposing by the minute. Mengele could use an extra set of brains to solve the problem...

as well as any available leftover skin.

Tough to Swallow: The Asylum will make doctors out of anyone. This time it's Jake Busey.

The scientists are drilling into the ice and the drill hits metal, which appears to be only an inch or two below the surface.

The funniest CG moment is when the scientists discover the hangar -- the scientists are CG. The worst CG, in my opinion, is the UFO/warplanes shootout, especially the explosions.

The swastika on the back wall of the transplant room is reversed in the shot where Dr. Mengele first touches the face of the soldier.

The swastika on the outside of the castle and the one on the top of the spacecraft are also reversed.

The fancy German signs are out of place.

The credit for Set Decorator is misspelled as Set Decorater.

Something to Chew On: The budget was less than $200,000.

This is Lawson's feature directorial debut. He is also the visual effects supervisor for The Asylum.

The film took fewer than four months to make.

There is a theory that Adolf Hitler ordered a research journey in Antarctica to find an opening into the earth. Admiral Karl Dönitz mentioned "an invisible fortification, in midst of the eternal ice" during the Nuremberg Trials.

Of course, there have been several books about the possibility of Earth's center being hollow.

You'll hear a Wilhelm Scream in the opening scene.

This is the second movie Swain has appeared in that includes the removal of someone's face. Of course, the previous one was the 1997 blockbuster FACE/OFF.

The camera pans across four file folders in Dr. Mengele's organ transplant room. The folders are labeled: 1) Essen Babys, 2) Dreizehn, 3) Ich liebe es, Drogen zu tun and 4) Große Esel, Junge Dame. The fun part is when you translate those labels: 1) Eat babies, 2) Thirteen, 3) I love to do drugs and 4) Big ass, young lady.

I'm not familiar with the PC game "Wolfenstein 3D" (1992), but apparently the story and some characters are similar.

There's a really short scene at the end of the credits.

Aftertaste: Save the best for last, indeed. In my opinion, NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH is the most entertaining movie produced by the The Asylum. Granted, counting this one, I've only seen five.

The title will grab you. That's a given. However, it's all the other crazy stuff that will totally engross you. A good portion of it will just gross you... out.

Flesh-eating bacteria? Check. Face transplants? Check. Implied probing? Check. Vaporizing guns? Check. Uncomfortable shower scene? Check. Boobs? Check. Exposed brains? Check. Abortion? Check. Robots? Check. UFOs? Check.

The action doesn't pick up until the final act, but the gore and twisted content more than make up for it. And, when I say twisted, I mean seriously twisted. It's on the verge of being a torture porn flick.

Probably the most chilling moment is when the female scientists are being led to the showers. It's in slow-motion. There's ominous music. And, given the Nazi history involving showers, you know it's probably not going to end well.

Johnson, as Mengele, steals the movie. He's the perfect mix of creepy and evil, and plays it straight. He looks like Ian McKellen or John Hurt, but with a rotting face. He would definitely give Bill Oberst, Jr. (ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES) a fight if there were awards for best acting in a low-budget feature.

The rest of the acting is about on par with what you would expect from The Asylum.

I would say the only time the makeup effects don't work is with the "Mark"-face soldier.

Lawson's low-budget wonder and DEAD SNOW would make a great double feature on a cold, winter night.

Overall, I can't think of a way you'd be disappointed if you choose to pop this movie into you DVD player. I feel like I've talked this movie up as much as possible. It's all I can do.

If you don't watch NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, it's no skin off my nose.

Rating:

The Hunger Games (2012) - Starved of Intensity

On the Menu: THE HUNGER GAMES (2012)

Ingredients: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Hemsworth, Wes Bentley, Donald Sutherland, Stanley Tucci and Lenny Kravitz. Directed by Gary Ross. Run time: 142 minutes. Rated: PG-13.

At First Bite: I live in Western North Carolina, so I was bombarded with media buildup of THE HUNGER GAMES. Locals were predicting it would be the biggest box office smash of 2012. The news would feature stories on filming locations. I was sick of the movie before it had even finished filming, and I vowed not to watch it in the theater (much like my semi-boycott of AVATAR). And, since I had some surprise leftover gift card money from my wedding last year, I only spent $13 on the 3-disc Deluxe Edition DVD set.

A dystopian future has transformed North America into a new nation called Panem, which is split into twelve districts and the Capitol. In the past, there had been rebellion against the wealthy Capitol, so a lottery was put in place as retribution. Two children (one boy, one girl) from each district are randomly selected to participate in The Hunger Games.

The contest is pretty brutal. The Capitol has control over the arena, so if the game gets boring they might throw in some crazy beasts.

Oh yeah, it's all televised... and only ends with one survivor. And, the victor gets to live the high life afterward.

Katniss (Lawrence) and Peeta (Hutcherson) are the contestants from District 12, the poorest of the districts.

Do they have a chance?

Tough to Swallow: The 180-rule is broken in the scene where Prim gives the Mockingjay pendant back to Katniss.

There's a moment when Katniss is speaking to her mom and the camera appears to have been bumped. Why not reshoot that or edit it out?

There are a lot of continuity issues with Katniss's hair.

The Capitol citizens throw flowers to the tributes during the stadium entrance. In the overhead shot, the flowers are gone.

While in the tree, Katniss's sleeping bag disappears.

The cannon doesn't fire for Rue or her attacker.

I think the control room scenes are one too many.

The movie is over 2 hours long and the character development is pretty non-existent.

The whole idea of the "Games" is pretty R-rated, but the violence is very tame.

The wolf mutts (my favorite part of the book) are simply made out to be big dogs. Lame-o.

Something to Chew On: The film's $152.5 million opening weekend box office set a non-sequel record in North America.

Hailee Steinfeld, Abigail Breslin, Emma Roberts and Chloe Grace Moretz were among those considered for the role of Katniss.

Effie Trinket's name is never mentioned.

Suzanne Collins wrote the novel and co-wrote the screenplay. Her inspirations for the movie include a reality show, footage of the invasion of Iraq, Theseus, the Roman gladiatorial games, and the loss of her father when she was 11.

Cinematographer Tom Stern has been the director of photography on Clint Eastwood's last 10 films (starting with BLOODWORK in 2002). He's worked on 11 other Eastwood films as a gaffer, lighting consultant or chief lighting technician.

Aftertaste: When I heard the plot of this movie, I immediately thought of BATTLE ROYALE, SERIES 7: THE CONTENDERS and THE RUNNING MAN. Seriously, it's not really that original of an idea. It's like when I saw the trailer for AVATAR and said, "Hey, that's FERNGULLY in space."

So, with that and the constant local news stories about the filming of the movie, I felt predetermined to dislike the film. However, I had the same feeling before watching AVATAR, and gave it 4 stars.

Honestly, THE HUNGER GAMES isn't all that bad.

However, at 142 minutes in length, there's no reason for the movie to be lacking character development. They could have cut down on the control room scenes to focus more on the characters, especially some of the other tributes.

A lot of the context from the novel is also missing. What's the deal with the 3-finger salute? What was the meaning of Katniss's hallucination? If you read the book, you know the story of Haymitch (Harrelson), but the movie doesn't really touch on what his deal is. I don't think the movie is all that clear on why Katniss does some of the things she does, but, in the book, we know her thoughts and feelings since it's her point of view. Her relationship with Rue isn't quite as compelling as in the book, which kills what should have been one of the film's most emotional moments.

I like the look of the film: the grays of District 12 versus the crazy colors of the Capitol. The makeup was a bit much, especially for Effie (Banks). I know the citizens of the Capitol are eccentric, but there's no reason to pile on the layers and make Elizabeth Banks surprisingly unattractive.

The camerawork is okay for the most part. I'm not a fan of the shaky cam, but it doesn't bother me. Katniss's hallucination scene has to be my favorite of the entire movie.

Although the movie might not have made as much movie had it hit theaters with an R-rating, it would have been much more entertaining. The Hunger Games is a bloody event, but the movie is relatively blood-free considering it's a story of kids killing kids. This absence of violence is the biggest disappointment for me.

If you read the book, I can't say you'll be entirely pleased with the film, but...

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Rating:

Manborg (2011) - ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Plate #5

On the Menu: MANBORG (2011)

Ingredients: Matthew Kennedy, Ludwig Lee, Meredith Sweeney, Conor Sweeney, Adam Brooks, Jeremy Gillespie and Andrea Karr. Directed by Steven Kostanski. Run time: 60 minutes. Rated: Not rated.

At First Bite: The late-night movies at ActionFest are usually the best, e.g., TUCKER & DALE VS EVIL and HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. So, I made sure to secure a ticket to MANBORG.

A soldier (Kennedy) dies while he and his brother are fighting the evil Draculon (Brooks) and his army. He's brought back to life as a half-man, half-cyborg.

Draculon now rules the world.

Manborg, as he now calls himself, teams up with Mina (Sweeney), Justice (Sweeney) and #1 Man (Lee) to fight Draculon and his Killborgs.

Tough to Swallow: I can't think of anything bad to say, except I wish it were longer than 60 minutes.

Something to Chew On: The budget was an estimated $1,000.

Brooks portrayed both Draculon and Doctor Scorpius.

The director is also credited as playing Assorted Killborgs.

Kyle Hebert is the voice of #1 Man.

Regional premiere at ActionFest 2012.

Won the 2012 Spirit of ActionFest Award.

We were told before the movie to yell "Manborg!" if there should be a technical issue with the projection/sound. Funnily, the following day, people were yelling this when other films had problems or while simply waiting for a film to start.

Raven Banner Entertainment picked up the distribution rights back in February, so hopefully a DVD is on the way soon.

Aftertaste: It would be very easy to confuse MANBORG with a straight-to-VHS flick from the '80s, and for good reason. The filmmakers at Astron-6 make these types of movies for a living. They purposefully made the company name sound like Vestron, which was responsible for EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY, BIG MAN ON CAMPUS, DREAM A LITTLE DREAM and, surprisingly, DIRTY DANCING. A number of Vestron's films haven't been released on DVD despite the library now being owned by Lionsgate.

Anyway...

Here we have a low-budget work of art. It was all filmed in a garage on a green screen. Manborg's costume is made from everyday scraps painted to metallic. Throw in some voice dubbing, some stop-motion animation and some lasers, and it's like you're in nerd heaven.

There's so much involved in this movie, it's difficult to believe it's only an hour long.

The Baron might be the film's best character. He's a baddie with a soft spot for one of his prisoners. He's the comic relief in a movie full of ridiculousness. Of course, having #1 Man's voice dubbed makes him pretty hilarious as well.

Call it a poor man's ROBOCOP. Or a poor man's TERMINATOR. Throw in some TRON and make it a comedy.

Just remember it looks the way it does on purpose.

Rating:

Prometheus (2012) - Like Beautiful Swiss Cheese

On the Menu: PROMETHEUS (2012)

Ingredients: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, Charlize Theron, Logan Marshall-Green, Idris Elba, Rafe Spall, Sean Harris, Kate Dickie, Emun Elliott and Benedict Wong. Directed by Ridley Scott. Run time: 124 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: The trailer looked pretty cool, but I can't say I was anxiously anticipating the film's release. However, my co-worker Jared was totally psyched to see it. So, we checked out the opening midnight show.

It's 2089. A couple of archaeologists, Shaw (Rapace) and Holloway (Marshall-Green), have discovered a map in cave drawings from around the world. They believe it's an invitation from our creators.

Four years later, Weyland Corporation sends a crew of top scientists, along with an android named David (Fassbender), aboard the spaceship Prometheus to find answers to the origin of mankind.

Of course, things don't go quite as planned.

Tough to Swallow: David tells Vickers the crew has been in hyper sleep for 2 years, 4 months, 18 days, 36 hours and 15 minutes. 36 hours? How many hours are in a day in the year 2093?

In Shaw's dreams, she is a child speaking to her father, but we see the child. Most of my dreams are from my point-of-view.

Pretty sure David would have had to learn more than symbols to be able to SPEAK the alien language.

You'd think top scientists wouldn't want to contaminate an alien planet. Seems like there is no protocol at all in this movie.

The decapitated Engineer's head wouldn't gurgle without lungs.

Something to Chew On: PROMETHEUS is a spin-off of ALIEN, not a prequel. Although, it comes really close to being a prequel.

The film was originally titled PARADISE (December 2010).

Carey Mulligan, Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway and Olivia Wilde were a few actresses considered for the role of Shaw.

James Franco was considered for the role of Holloway.

Michelle Yeoh was considered for the role of Vickers.

Patrick Wilson appears in a dream as Shaw's father.

Ian Whyte, who plays the Last Engineer, has also been cast as predators in the ALIEN VS. PREDATOR series.

The Weyland logo appears as part of David's fingerprint.

At the end of the credits, a logo appears and reads "Brought to you by Weyland Corporation - Building better worlds. Since 10/11/12."

Aftertaste: I've seen all the ALIEN films, but I'm not a fan boy when it comes to the series, which is probably why Jared was more disappointed in the movie than I was.

To me, the best part of PROMETHEUS is its look. I wouldn't be surprised to see an Oscar nomination/win for Best Art Direction.

Fassbender and Rapace are the two bright spots in the cast. Fassbender's David is the most intriguing character, by far. He's an android with a thirst for knowledge, a love of LAWRENCE OF ARABIA and a super-creepy vibe. The creepiness comes into play because he seems to be programmed to be curious and mischievous for no reason.

Shaw has the best scene of the movie. I won't ruin it for you, but it involves the med pod.

So, that's three things the movie has going for it. I'll make it four by adding the connection to Greek mythology. I love me some Greek mythology.

Prometheus is known for creating humans from clay and stealing fire from the gods. He gave the fire to humans and was punished by the gods for it. Okay. I think the Engineers represent Prometheus, the black goo is the fire and the xenomorphs are the gods. The recordings of the Engineers running to escape something seem to suggest a form of punishment, perhaps, but for what? Giving the black goo to humans? That is yet to be seen.

The science parts are just too laughable to take seriously. I spent most of the 124 minutes shaking my head.

People are complaining that the film leaves too many questions unanswered. Eh. Whatever.

There will be a sequel, I'm sure. Luckily, I don't have to worry about as many crappy scientists next time around.

Despite the numerous holes in logic, PROMETHEUS is visually stunning.

Rating:

Solomon Kane (2009) - ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Appetizer

On the Menu: SOLOMON KANE (2009)

Ingredients: James Purefoy, Pete Postlethwaite, Jason Flemyng, Max von Sydow, Mackenzie Crook, Alice Krige, Rachel Hurd-Wood and Patrick Hurd-Wood. Directed by Michael J. Bassett. Run time: 104 minutes. Rated: Not rated.

At First Bite: I had no expectations for the opening night film of ActionFest 2012. I knew nothing of the story. I only knew Purefoy and stunt coordinator Richard Ryan also teamed up for the first film presented at last year's ActionFest, IRONCLAD.

Solomon Kane (Purefoy) is an English mercenary/pirate who unfortunately meets up with the Devil's Reaper while helping himself to some treasure. Turns out Kane soul has been damned to Hell, and the Reaper wants to collect.

Kane escapes and tries to denounce his barbaric ways, but a sorcerer named Malachi (Flemyng) has created an army to wreak havoc and draw Kane to him.

Will he once more pick up his sword?

Tough to Swallow: The flashbacks ruin the main twist.

The Masked Rider's cape disappears after being set on fire.

Something to Chew On: Robert E. Howard created the pulp magazine character of Solomon Kane in 1928. Conan the Barbarian is Howard's more well-known character. He's also known for Kull the Conqueror.

Filming began in 2008, which was eleven years after the film rights were granted.

Christopher Lambert (HIGHLANDER) was offered the lead in 2001.

The movie was shot over 12 weeks time.

The film's budget was $40 million.

Purefoy suffered a head wound in a sword fight. The injury required five stitches.

This film is intended to be the first of a trilogy.

Aftertaste: I'll admit I was a bit disappointed to find out a 2009 film was opening a 2012 film festival, but it wasn't all that bad.

Watching Purefoy is like watching Gerard Butler or Hugh Jackman, but maybe slightly more enjoyable. He actually reminded me more of Butler in IRONCLAD, and more of Jackman in SOLOMON KANE. Let's hope he doesn't start doing big budget rom-coms. His performance here is solid. He makes for a perfect anti-hero.

Introducing the main villain at the end of the film is a mistake, in my opinion. And, the final battle is ho-hum. Overall, the fights are well-choreographed, but they are too sparse for a film like this.

One of the final confrontations is ruined by all the flashbacks. The twist is sooooooo predictable.

I love the look of the film. The cinematography and production design might be the best parts. Wait... the scene where Kane is crucified and works his way off the cross is actually my favorite part.

Perhaps, with the origin story touched on with this entry, the following two films will be filled with more decapitations and shootouts.

Let's hope.

Rating:

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011) - February Filmathon Film #7

On the Menu: KUNG FUN PANDA 2 (2011)

Ingredients: Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Gary Oldman, Seth Rogen, Jackie Chan, Lucy Liu, David Cross, Dustin Hoffman, James Hong, Michelle Yeoh, Danny McBride, Dennis Haysbert, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Victor Garber and Lauren Tom. Directed by Jennifer Yuh Nelson. Run time: 91 minutes. Rated: PG.

At First Bite: Personally, I find Jack Black to be annoying. But, it is much easier to watch one of his movies if he's just a voice actor.

In the first film, Po (Black) was matched up against Tai Lung, who really had a beef with Master Oogway. Here, the story pits Po against someone from his past, Lord Shen, who is bent on killing off Kung Fu altogether and taking over China.

Tough to Swallow: I wish I would have seen this in 3D.

Something to Chew On: This is the feature directorial debut of Yuh Nelson.

To date, KUNG FU PANDA 2 is the highest-grossing film with a female director.

Shen was actually a character for the first movie, but was written out before production.

Guillermo del Toro is credited as a Creative Consultant.

Charlie Kaufman did some uncredited script touch-ups.

2012 Oscar nominee for Best Animated Feature.

Aftertaste: Po is still a fanboy of the Furious Five, but he's toned down from the original. And, only one skadoosh. This time Po is more vulnerable. He's haunted by flashes from his past, but he's not sure what they mean.

Darker than the first film. Of course, when you have a villain hellbent on killing all the pandas, it's going to be dark. Who hates pandas? I will say Shen doesn't look the part of a bad guy, but having Gary Oldman's voice definitely helps.

I love the use of different animating styles. The movie starts and ends with 2D shadow puppetry. The bulk of the movie is 3D CGI, and Po's memories are 2D anime.

The dragon sequence and the ensuing chase are my favorite scenes. The final battle is pretty sweet as well though (by that point the movie is sooooo red). There are some really funny moments. I think the one I laughed at most was when Po is flipped by the prison door and turned around by Tigress (Jolie). There are also some tug-at-your-heart ones, especially with Mr. Ping (Hong).

I'd say Mr. Ping and the Soothsayer (Yeoh) steal their scenes.

Better than the original. Pure awesomeness.

Rating:

30 Minutes Or Less (2011) - February Filmathon Film #4

On the Menu: 30 MINUTES OR LESS (2011)

Ingredients: Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz Ansari, Danny McBride, Nick Swardson, Fred Ward, Michael Peña, Dilshad Vadsaria and Bianca Kajlich. Directed by Ruben Fleischer. Run time: 83 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: I worked as a pizza delivery guy for three and a half years. I remember the story of Brian Douglas Wells, the delivery guy with a bomb strapped to his chest who robbed a bank.

Basically, if you remember the story behind that botched 2003 robbery, then you know the plot of 30 MINUTES OR LESS.

Dwayne (McBride) can't wait for his dad to die. He figures the inheritance would be rather large. A stripper suggests he hire a hitman. In order to pay for the hit, Dwayne and his buddy Travis (Swardson) kidnap an unsuspecting pizza boy named Nick (Eisenberg) and force him to rob a bank wearing a bomb.

Tough to Swallow: The Major interrupts Dwayne and Travis while they're watching FRIDAY THE 13TH (3D). Dwayne says there's 45 minutes left, but it's the final scene of the movie.

The outtakes on the DVD aren't funny.

Something to Chew On: Ben Stiller was one of the film's producers.

This is Fleischer's second feature film. He previously directed ZOMBIELAND, also starring Eisenberg.

In the beginning of the movie, Nick rents the first two LETHAL WEAPON films. Later, Dwayne is talking to Travis about his tanning salon idea. He calls one of the tanning options the Tanny Glover.

Following the credits, there's a commercial for Dwayne's tanning salon.

Aftertaste: There are a few funny moments. Not a lot, but a few. And, they come from the Eisenberg/Ansari tandem instead of McBride and Swardson, which was a surprise. I love Swardson, but McBride seems to play the same guy in every movie (essentially Kenny Powers). He's like the Tommy Lee Jones of comedy.

I can't complain about this movie too much. Even though it's not as funny as I wanted it to be, it's only 83 minutes long. So, I didn't feel like I suffered through it. Especially, since it's peppered with scenes featuring the lovely Dilshad Vadsaria ("Greek").

As a follow-up to ZOMBIELAND though, Fleischer dropped the ball. Maybe he should stick to original ideas. Or at least have more of a script and not rely on ad-libbing.

Heavy on the cheese, light on the sauce.

Rating:

The Heir Apparent: Largo Winch (2008) - ActionFest Buffet 2.0: Plate #4

On the Menu: THE HEIR APPARENT: LARGO WINCH (2008)

Ingredients: Tomer Sisley, Kristin Scott Thomas, Miki Manojlovic, Mélanie Thierry, Gilbert Melki, Karel Roden, Steven Waddington, Benedict Wong, Anne Cosigny and Nicolas Vaude. Directed by Jérôme Salle. Run time: 108 minutes. Rated: Unrated.

At First Bite: I had an empty time slot after SUPER and chose LARGO WINCH because I thought I would catch Takeshi Kitano's OUTRAGE the next day (I ended up going to a panel instead). The program mentioned it was "based upon a series of famous graphic novels," which piqued my interest a little more.

Nerio is the head of a major corporation, but he gets snuffed out mysteriously. So, the control of the company falls to Largo. Well, Largo has been distancing himself from his father's business for years. He's basically been traveling the world. His father's right-hand man tracks him down and brings him before the company's board. Since no one has ever seen him before, they're all very skeptical.

He doesn't want his father's business, but, as he sets out to prove his lineage, he discovers there might be something more to his father's death than just murder.

Tough to Swallow: A news program misspells Ann Ferguson's name as Fergusson.

There are some beard length continuity issues with Largo.

The ActionFest program misspelled Nerio (Largo's father) as Niero. Twice.

Something to Chew On: Largo Winch is a Belgian comic book series by Philippe Francq and Jean Van Hamme, published by Dupuis. It was originally written as a series of novels by Van Hamme, but the series wasn't very successful.

The settings of New York and Turkey from the comic series were changed to Hong Kong and Brazil, respectively.

The rights to the comic were bought in the late 1980s by Serge Silberman, who wanted to create a franchise to compete with the James Bond films. Silberman didn't get to see his dream realized; he died in 2003.

For the film, Sisley learned Serbian and performed some of his own stunts.

The action scenes set in Hong Kong were shot guerrilla style.

Aftertaste: Going in, I really had no expectations for this movie other than it would probably be a lot like a James Bond movie. And, it was.

Corporate espionage and murder mystery mixed with decent action. I enjoyed the chases through the streets and the rooftop fighting, especially. Sisler's Largo is definitely a hybrid of James Bond and Jason Bourne; a mix of charisma, intelligence and athleticism. There are loads of flashbacks, which might confuse at times, but definitely help flesh out the story.

This showing at ActionFest was the film's North American premiere. The next film in the series, THE BURMA CONSPIRACY, was released in Belgium and France two months prior to the festival (February 16, 2011). Maybe it will make it to ActionFest 2012. I'll go see it.

Rating:

Little Big Soldier (2010) - ActionFest Buffet 2.0: Plate #2

On the Menu: LITTLE BIG SOLDIER (2010)

Ingredients: Jackie Chan, Leehom Wang, Sung-jun Yoo, Rongguang Yu, Peng Lin, Xaio Dong Mei and Song Jin. Directed by Sheng Ding. Run time: 96 minutes. Rated: PG. 

At First Bite: Jackie Chan is almost always entertaining. I say almost always because some of his Hollywood movies have been slightly disappointing. But, LITTLE BIG SOLDIER was filmed in China/Hong Kong, and his Asian fare is typically better. Needless to say, it became the second film on my ActionFest agenda for Day 2.

The movie opens with animation and narration describing the Seven Warring States and their battles during the time before the unification of China. We're dropped into the middle of a resulting bloodbath between two of those states, Liang and Wei. Big Soldier (Chan) has feigned death and discovers the enemy general, Little Soldier (Wang), is also alive, but seriously injured. He plans to collect the general and trade him for a reward of farmland.

The problem is someone else is looking for the general, and wants him dead. 

Tough to Swallow: There are a few instances where the subtitles are misspelled, e.g., the word "small" appears as "samll." 

Something to Chew On: Chan is also the film's producer and writer. He wrote the screenplay 20 years ago, and had intended to play the Little Soldier role. However, the project was stuck in development for those 20 years, so he ended up playing Big Soldier.

The budget was an estimated $25 million.

It premiered February 11, 2010 in Malaysia. Its U.S. debut was June 6th at the Seattle International Film Festival.

The release date for the DVD was November 18, 2010.

IMDb.com notes this is Chan's 99th film. His filmography lists 103 films prior to LITTLE BIG SOLDIER, but  he is uncredited in 18 of those. Either way, the numbers don't quite add up.

There is a blooper reel during the closing credits. 

Aftertaste: What makes this fun to watch is Big Soldier's reluctance to fight. That doesn't mean there aren't impressively choreographed fight scenes, but those scenes mostly involve Chan trying to defend himself or escape harm. Coupled with his comical expressions, these fights oftentimes make us laugh or at least smile.

Big Soldier has a fake arrow rigged on his chest and back. He pulls a string and both ends of the arrow pop up making it seem he's been shot with deadly force. The employment of this gadget was my favorite part of the movie; it garnered three good laughs. Of course, there's plenty of slapstick as well.

The movie isn't all comedy and action though. It plays pretty dramatic, especially the end. Basically, the idea is nothing good comes from war, but one shouldn't lose hope. So, yeah, I guess you'd say it's pretty deep for a Jackie Chan flick. Pay attention to the final scene with the Singer (Lin).

Chan and Wang have great chemistry together. They play off each other well. LITTLE BIG SOLDIER is definitely focused more on the characters than it is the action, which is a good thing.

Oh, I did enjoy the opening animation sequence. And, Xiao Dong Mei is pretty cute. 

Rating:

Ironclad (2011) - ActionFest Buffet 2.0: Appetizer

On the Menu: IRONCLAD (2011)
Ingredients: James Purefoy, Paul Giamatti, Kate Mara, Brian Cox, Jason Flemyng, Mackenzie Cook, Jamie Foreman, Aneurin Barnard, Rhys Parry Jones and Derek Jacobi. Directed by Jonathan English. Run time: 121 minutes. Rated: R. 

At First Bite: I missed out on the opening film at last year's ActionFest, which was CENTURION. However, this time around I took some vacation days in order to make sure I got as many movies as possible. The plot summary in the program for IRONCLAD piqued my interest. Basically, King John (Giamatti) is forced to sign the Magna Carta, but then goes back on his word to regain his tyrannical control of England. A Templar Knight named Thomas Marshall (Purefoy) teams up with six other men to defend the castle at Rochester, which was a major strategic position.

Tough to Swallow: The historical aspect isn't quite correct as King John and his men actually overtook Rochester by starvation. William d'Aubigny (Albany in the film) was imprisoned; he lived another 21 years after the siege of Rochester Castle. Not quite sure the French showed up either. All in all, a much bleaker reality.

The sword Marshall uses didn't exist in the 13th century; swords of the period were usually 3-feet in length and made for use with one hand. 

Something to Chew On: The movie was shot in Wales.

Richard Attenborough was cast, but had to drop out due to health issues.

Angus Macfadyen was cast as Coteral, but dropped out when the movie was refinanced.

Megan Fox was rumored to have a role.

Giamatti filmed his scenes in 7 days.

Stunt coordinator Richard Ryan said the stuntmen created a drinking game for the film -- each guy would take a shot when he saw himself get killed on screen. Ryan stated one stuntman died 15 times, and twice in the same fight.

Aftertaste: Well, the quick editing and close shots make the first few fights hard to follow. Once the story moves to Rochester, the fights are violently brutal. There's some serious head-bashing, limb-chopping and torso-splitting happening here. And, it's pretty freakin' sweet. Luckily, most of the two hours is spent in Rochester.

I have to admit it was slightly humorous to see Paul Giamatti in the role of King John. A majority of the theater audience laughed out loud when he first appeared on screen. But, no matter how odd the casting may seem, I couldn't help think it was a genius decision by the end credits. He's perfect at displaying skeeviness, dejection and patheity, but he also can bring the in-your-face insanity.

I've never seen "Rome," so I'm not all that familiar with James Purefoy's work. I only know him as King Edward in A KNIGHT'S TALE. He's Gerard Butler-lite, I guess you could say. He definitely kicks some butt and takes some names.

Not too sure about the love story, but Kate Mara is excellent eye candy. The one-liners fell to Brian Cox, who didn't disappoint. It was great to see Charles Dance again, and had I gone back to the theater at midnight I could have seen him in YOUR HIGHNESS as well.

Stunt coordinator Richard Ryan was in the audience, and did a short Q&A after the movie.

Bloody, bloody and bloody. A perfect way to open a film festival devoted to action.

Rating:

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) - Movie Marathon Short & Sweet Review: Film #20

On the Menu: FANTASTIC MR. FOX (2009)

Ingredients: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzmann, Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe, Michael Gambon, Eric Chase Anderson, Wallace Wolodarsky, Owen Wilson, Brian Cox, Adrien Brody, Mario Batali, Karen Duffy and Wes Anderson. Directed by Wes Anderson. Run time: 87 minutes. Rated: PG.

Tough to Swallow: The scientific names of the animals should be in the form: Genus species, not Genus Species.

Young foxes are kits, not cubs.

Something to Chew On: Based on the novel by Roald Dahl, which was the first book director Wes Anderson ever owned.

The Fox family tree is based on a beech tree on Dahl's property, and Mr. Fox's study was made to look like Dahl's favorite writing spot (a garden hut).

Mr. Fox's wardrobe is based on that of Anderson's.

Of the 535 puppets made for this movie, 102 of them were of Mr. Fox. The human puppets actually have human hair.

Nominated for Original Score and Best Animated Feature at the 2010 Oscars.

Aftertaste: Fun and enjoyable. I've never been disappointed with a Wes Anderson movie (at least 4 stars for each). It's a shame this one didn't take home the Best Animated Feature Oscar last year. I loved UP as well, but this had better animation with just as good a story.

The detail in the animation is incredible. I'm not sure most movie-goers realize how much work goes into a stop-motion film. I don't even think I do, but I know it has to be painstaking.

It's considered a family film, but, like most every other animated feature in the past 10 years, FANTASTIC MR. FOX has adult themes and humor. However, it has talking animals, so it must be for kids, right? Ugh.

Anyway, it's funny and looks amazing.

Rating:

Toy Story 3 (2010) - Movie Marathon Drive-Thru Review: Film #10

On the Menu: TOY STORY 3 (2010)
Ingredients: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Don Rickles, Michael Keaton, Wallace Shawn, John Ratzenberger, Estelle Harris, Laurie Metcalf, Jodi Benson, Timothy Dalton, Bonnie Hunt, Blake Clark, Jeff Garlin, R. Lee Ermey, Richard Kind, Whoopi Goldberg and John Morris. Directed by Lee Unkrich. Run time: 103 minutes. Rated: G.

At First Bite: I think the announcement of an upcoming TOY STORY 3 came out in 2007. I won't say that I was ever full of anticipation, but I had commented to a friend that it might be the first 3D movie I attend (having skipped on ALICE IN WONDERLAND). Alas, I did not see it in the theater.

Tough to Swallow: When the toys reset Buzz they never replace the screws they take out.

I guess no one checks the footage of the daycare security cameras. Otherwise, they'd see toys running around on their own.

How does Slinky Dog detach from the magnet?

This movie is rated G? There is a serious creep factor involved here, especially for a family flick.

Something to Chew On: Sid, the neighbor in the 1st movie, appears as a garbageman.

Blake Clark replaced Jim Varney as the voice of Slinky Dog. Varney died in 2000.

Laraine Newman has an Additional Voice credit.

Ken wears 21 different outfits.

The Pizza Planet delivery truck shows up in a flashback sequence. The truck has appeared in every Pixar film. Another trademark is the combination of letters/numbers A113, which appears on Andy's mom's license plate.

TOY STORY 3 is the solo directing debut of Unkrich. He had previously only co-directed.

It was the first animated film to make $1 billion at the worldwide box office.

The film received 5 Oscar nominations. It won Animated Feature Film and Music (Original Song).

Aftertaste: Kudos, Pixar, you nailed it again. I think maybe your only "miss" would be CARS (and you're making a sequel?). I think everyone would be more eager to see THE INCREDIBLES 2.

Anyway, I enjoyed TOY STORY 3 thoroughly. It's funny, sad, creepy and ends on a positive note. My favorite character is Big Baby, which is pretty sad and creepy in its own right.

There was definitely a moment near the end that, while it didn't make me cry, did tug on the heartstring. Come to think of it, there were two moments like that.

I would say it's better than the second movie (4 stars), but equal to the original.

It should have been rated PG though.

Rating: 

  

OSS 117: Lost in Rio (2009) - Movie Marathon Drive-Thru Review: Film #4

On the Menu: OSS 117: LOST IN RIO (2009)

Ingredients: Jean Dujardin, Louise Monot, Rüdiger Vogler, Alex Lutz, Reem Kherici, Pierre Bellemare and Ken Samuels. Directed by Michel Hazanavicius. Run time: 101 minutes. Rated: Unrated. 

At First Bite: It was described as "possibly the 2nd funniest spy spoof ever" on the DVD cover, so that got me interested. Well, that and the cover art included the hero, two hotties, a hippie, a Nazi, an Asian gang and two guys in luchador masks. 

Tough to Swallow: Everything is meant to be ridiculous, so I can't complain. Even the repeated flashbacks are funny.

Something to Chew On: The language track is French.

Though it parodies Bond movies, the original OSS 117 novels were out in 1949. Ian Fleming published his first Bond novel in 1953. The OSS 117 movies from the 1960s were played straight.

The original spoof is titled OSS 117: CAIRO, NEST OF SPIES.

The settings for the two OSS 117 films are the same as the ones used in consecutive Bond flicks, THE SPY WHO LOVED ME and MOONRAKER.

Aftertaste: Even having not seen the original, I didn't feel left out on knowing the lead character, Hubert Bonisseur de la Bath, aka OSS 117. He's a ladies man like Bond, but he's sometimes clueless and always inappropriate. Roger Ebert described the secret agent as "cheerfully racist."

Every situation is a riot -- whether it be a hospital chase scene, a shootout or a hippie orgy.

I knew it was going to be great when a damsel in distress referred to the Chinese as "dirty Reds" and OSS 117, obviously not understanding, "corrected" her: "Dirty yellows." She corrects him, but he laughs her off as though she's just a silly woman.

He doesn't understand his offense, and that's what makes the movie.

Rating:

Shrek Forever After: The Final Chapter (2010) - Movie Marathon Drive-Thru Review: Film #1

On the Menu: SHREK FOREVER AFTER: THE FINAL CHAPTER (2010)

Ingredients: Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews, John Cleese, Jon Hamm, Craig Robinson, Jane Lynch, Mary Kay Place, Kathy Griffin, Meredith Vieira and Walt Dohrn. Directed by Mike Mitchell. Run time: 93 minutes. Rated: PG.

At First Bite: I saw the first two SHREK installments in the theater. They are the best of the bunch (4.5 stars each), but even the third film didn't disappoint (3.5 stars). Figured I wouldn't be wasting my time by watching this one either.

Tough to Swallow: Although he had a different appearance, Rumpelstiltskin showed up in SHREK THE THIRD (Prince Charming calls him Frumpy Pigskin).

That kind of continuity error in a film series is slightly annoying.

I've said it since the original came out in 2001: These aren't really kids' movies. And, this entry is much darker than the others.

Something to Chew On: Again, as with the other Shrek films, the fairy tale/movie references are what make me laugh the most. This one spoofs IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE and makes references to THE WIZARD OF OZ, DELIVERANCE and THE UNTOUCHABLES among others.

Aftertaste: Not on par with the first two, but better than the third. It just won't be the same when there's not another SHREK movie in theaters every three years. At least this final chapter brought the story full circle. Unfortunately, this might be the last successful film of Eddie Murphy's career.

Rating:

My Science Project (1985) - Fair at Best

On the Menu: MY SCIENCE PROJECT (1985)


Ingredients: John Stockwell, Fisher Stevens, Dennis Hopper, Danielle von Zerneck, Raphael Sbarge, Richard Masur and Barry Corbin. Directed by Jonathan R. Betuel. Run time: 94 minutes. Rated: PG.

At First Bite: I first heard about this movie about three or four years ago from one of my then-coworkers, Paul. It sounded like something fun, so I added it to my Blockbuster queue. And, since my queue is consistently about 5-6 pages long, the DVD finally just made its way to my mailbox.

Michael Harlan (Stockwell) is a slacker, who is going to fail his science class unless he comes up with an amazing project. He's leaning toward something to do with cars since he's obsessed with them.

Looking for all the help he can get, Mike takes Ellie (von Zerneck), the nerdy girl, on a "date" to the old military junkyard. He stumbles upon a glowing device (almost like a plasma globe inside a metallic carrying case) with an affinity for sucking up all the electricity around it, including all the power to Mike's 1968 GTO.

Mike, his buddy, Vince (Stevens), and Ellie take the "gizmo" to their science teacher, Bob Roberts (Hopper). The gizmo goes berserk and sends Mr. Roberts back in time.

If that isn't bad enough, Ellie's even nerdier stalker, Sherman (Sbarge), happens upon the device. While Mike and Vince have been detained by police, the gizmo ends up taking over the high school by rupturing spacetime and introducing mutants, gladiators and dinosaurs to 1985.

Oops.

Does that mean Mike will still fail science?

Tough to Swallow: It's a silly movie all around. I honestly didn't look to nitpick this one to death. If anything, the acting could have been better, how would anyone believe a teen built the gizmo and why didn't anyone other than the kids notice the school had become the center of a major time warp?

I like John Stockwell. He was Cougar in TOP GUN. He directed BLUE CRUSH (one of my favorite guilty-pleasure movies). He looks the part of a slacker, but, as a lead actor, he's really hard to look at for 94 minutes.

Stevens's one-liners are hit-and-miss.

Something to Chew On: The movie was released August 9, 1985, which was 37 days after BACK TO THE FUTURE hit theaters. WEIRD SCIENCE (Aug. 2) and REAL GENIUS (Aug. 7) were two more sci-fi flicks that beat MY SCIENCE PROJECT to the punch. No wonder I had never heard of it before. Kinda reminds me of everyone seeing BIG enough times to memorize it, but not knowing about VICE VERSA, 18 AGAIN! or LIKE FATHER LIKE SON.

This film was Betuel's directorial debut. Ten years later, he helmed one of the worst movies of all-time: THEODORE REX.

Hopper dons an outfit from EASY RIDER for a scene where Mr. Roberts has been to the '60s.

A line of dialogue references the movie CHRISTINE, which also stars Stockwell.

Several TV shows are referenced, such as "The Flintstones," "Magnum, P.I.," "McCloud," "Kojak" and "The Brady Bunch."

Stevens went on to appear in Tim Robbins's 1992 directorial debut BOB ROBERTS, which sadly had nothing to do with Hopper's science teacher character of the same name.

The film currently has a 5.5 user rating on IMDb.com (1,812 votes).

Sides: There are no special features on the DVD.

Aftertaste: It's an '80s teen sci-fi flick. It's nowhere near as cool as BACK TO THE FUTURE, WEIRD SCIENCE or REAL GENIUS. It's definitely a notch below those although some of the effects are decent. The acting is okay. Stevens is the comic relief and livens things up a little.

I'm not going to say this is a movie you should run out and buy/rent. However, if you're a fan of the genre, I think you'll be entertained despite (or because of) the cheese factor.

I wanted to see it just to say, "I've seen it."

I will say that it might be Hopper's 3rd best film of the '80s behind BLUE VELVET and HOOSIERS.

RIP Dennis Hopper.

Rating: