Gut (2012) - Maybe You Can Stomach It

On the Menu: GUT (2012)

Ingredients: Jason Vail, Nicholas Wilder, Sarah Schoofs and Angie Ballaro. Directed by Elias. Run time: 90 minutes. Rated: Not rated.

At First Bite: I received a random email back in November from "Gut Productions" asking if I would like to review their film. I replied back and asked for a screener DVD. Well, it arrived in the mail about a week later, but I never got around to watching it. I feel pretty bad about putting it on the back burner. However, I haven't watched ANYTHING since THE CAMPAIGN, which was the night before the election.

Needless to say, more movies need to be watched in 2013. Starting now.

Tom (Vail) is a family man with a 9-to-5 job. Problem is he seems bored with his life. Cue Dan (Wilder), Tom's goofy best friend since childhood.

Dan comes to possess what might be a snuff film and decides it's just what Tom needs to unwind.

Instead, Tom becomes unhinged.

Tough to Swallow: Not sure there was enough gore to be classified as a horror film.

Nearly every scene cuts or fades to black. I mean, it should definitely be the focus of a drinking game.

The pacing is painfully slow at times, and shots seem to linger too much, especially when nothing is happening.

Vail seems adept at acting with his facial expressions, but his delivery is stale.

The office setting leaves a lot to be desired.

I'm guessing budget constraints kept any police officers from making the cast list. Otherwise, I don't see how you can disappear from work for a day or two and be replaced immediately without someone calling the cops.

The ending will leave you scratching your head... or shaking your head. I didn't sympathize with either lead character because I never felt emotionally connected with them.

Make sure your pets aren't around for the end credits. The music is loud and irritating, and it made my cats freak out. I can't imagine the effect it would have on dogs.

Something to Chew On: This is the second feature film directed by Elias. His first was the 2006 film LovecraCked! The Movie.

Elias also wrote and edited the film. He's also listed as one of the producers.

Several crew members make appearances in the movie.

The budget was under $500,000.

The film was shot entirely on location in New York and New Jersey. Filming lasted approximately 28 days.

It was shot with a Canon EOS 7D (within two weeks of the camera's U.S. street date).

Won Best Feature and Best Special Effects in the 2012 New York City Horror Film Festival.

Producer Anna Ganster is also the director's wife.

Aftertaste: GUT does not depend on dialogue. I know some movie watchers are turned off by those types of films, e.g., CAST AWAY and 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. It doesn't bother me. Less is more, if done properly. The silence in GUT will probably make you bored because the film's pace drags so often. There are far too many scenes with characters issuing blank stares.

The acting is hit-and-miss. Wilder's Dan comes across as a slightly creepy oddball, who might be jealous of his best friend's wife. However, more often than not, Wilder himself comes across as awkward. Vail always appears seething, but struggles with delivering his lines. Schoofs might possibly be the best actor of the group even though she doesn't get as much screen time.

I think some of the best scenes in the movie are the ones portraying the "live" version of the snuff films. I still don't understand how we get that perspective if the DVDs are simply mailed to Dan. How are we privy to the behind-the-scenes stuff?

Now, the most impressive scene has to be Tom's first dream after watching the DVD. It just might be the lone highlight.

The soundtrack is definitely unsettling. I'd say it sets the tone and then some. Seriously though, hit the mute button once the credits start because the music turns into nails on a chalkboard really fast.

It's arguable as to whether or not the ending provides any answers to what transpired the previous 80+ minutes. Personally, I'd like to think the killer isn't an unknown figure and Tom is justified in his final actions. However, that wasn't my thinking while I was watching the movie seeing as how we're not given a concrete reason for us to think otherwise. Unfortunately, by the end, I didn't really care enough either way.

I sat down to watch this with no expectations. I was neither totally disappointed or blown away. This low-budget indie thriller could have benefited from experienced actors, better editing and a more concise script.

That's my GUT reaction.

Rating: 

Transit (2012) - ActionFest Buffet 3.0: Plate #4

On the Menu: TRANSIT (2012)

Ingredients: Jim Caviezel, James Frain, Harold Perrineau, Diora Baird, Ryan Donowho, Sterling Knight, Elisabeth Röhm and Jake Cherry. Directed by Antonio Negret. Run time: 88 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: The 9:30/9:45 time slot came down to either TRANSIT or the Swedish flick HEADHUNTERS. My buddy, Chris, picked the former, so I accompanied him. HEADHUNTERS was playing the next day, and this was the only showing of TRANSIT.

Nate (Caviezel) is taking his family on a camping trip in hopes to reconnect with his sons and regain the trust of his wife. See, Nate just served 18 months in the pokey for real estate fraud.

A foursome of bank robbers, led by Marek (Frain), is looking to sneak passed the roadblocks set up to catch them. The family's taken a pit stop, and the robbers spot their vehicle, which is loaded down with camping gear. Perfect. Just take one of the bags and switch out the gear for the stolen cash, then retrieve it later down the road.

Really, how could this plan go wrong?

Tough to Swallow: I question the effectiveness of police roadblocks that ignore suspect profiles.

The audio dropped out right before the hotel rampage scene. After about four minutes the projectionist fixed the problem, but we didn't get to go back and listen to what we missed.

Marek throws a machete, if I remember correctly, at Nate's vehicle. It smashes the windshield, but the windshield is fine in subsequent scenes.

Logic gets thrown out the window several times. Seriously, based on their actions later in the movie, how were the antagonists smart enough to rob a bank in the first place? How did the guy in the boat know something was hidden in the swamp?

Something to Chew On: North American premiere at ActionFest 2012.

Frain won the award for Best Villain at ActionFest 2012.

The film's budget was an estimated $5 million.

Aftertaste: It's a fairly intense thriller with some amazing stunt driving. However, the dialogue is laughable and the characters are stupid. The cheese factor is very high here. I can't remember the number of facepalms I made while listening to the family's conversations.

I spent most of the time wishing Nate would just forget about his family. They suck for the most part, especially his wife.

The quick pace somewhat masks the ridiculous script, but not entirely. Luckily, the run time is only 88 minutes.

I can't recommend this one... unless you're looking for intensity with a big side of crap.

Rating:

Colombiana (2011) - February Filmathon Film #8

On the Menu: COLOMBIANA (2011)

Ingredients: Zoë Saldana, Cliff Curtis, Jordi Mollà, Lennie James, Michael Vartan, Callum Blue, Beto Benites, Graham McTavish and Amandla Stenberg. Directed by Olivier Megaton. Run time: 111 minutes. Rated: Unrated.

At First Bite: I needed an action movie to watch and Saldana is gorgeous. If the screenplay is written by Luc Besson (LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL, LA FEMME NIKITA), you could probably guess the story: a young woman's parents have been killed and she's going to seek revenge.

Well, if you guessed that plotline, then you'd be correct.

Tough to Swallow: Manhole covers must be pretty lightweight in Colombia.

Do the police not get a mugshot of everyone they arrest?

If you've successfully hidden in your mansion's safe room, why would you leave knowing who is in your house?

Not sure you can train a dog to eat raw steaks and get the result COLOMBIANA achieved.

Young Cataleya (Stenberg) reads a Xena: Warrior Princess comic and says she wants to be like Xena. The film is set in 1992. Xena wasn't around until three years later.

The word personal is misspelled as 'personnal' in two credits for Saldana's make up artist and hair stylist.

The word prosthetics is misspelled as 'prostetics' in the credit for Prosthetics Artists.

In the France Unit section of the credits, there's a credit for Location Manager Assistants, but lists only one person. Also in this section, the word assistants is misspelled as 'assitants' in the credit for Video Assistants.

In the Additional Footages credits, licensing is misspelled as 'licencing' for Universal Studios.

Something to Chew On: Besson wrote the screenplay and has a producer credit.

Director Olivier Megaton's birth name is Olivier Fontana. He was born on the 20th anniversary of the Hiroshima bombing, which is where he came up with the Megaton surname.

Aftertaste: Man, there are so many ridiculous moments in this movie (some listed above). Cataleya is supposedly an intelligent assassin with nearly 15 years of experience. Why chance losing the rest of your family while killing nobodies in an attempt to draw the attention of your real target? She's really careless.

And, the police are no better. The Tag Killer can't be a woman? Okay, if you say so. Ugh, and Callum Blue is just as bad an actor here as he was in FRENEMY. His CIA agent is a poorly written character anyway.

Some of the action is okay. I'd say the best part of the movie is when we see Young Cataleya. She jumps from building to building in parkour fashion. But, even the bad guys try to ruin this sequence. The head baddie tells his goons to kill her, then yells at one guy for shooting at her because "we need her alive." Then, he and all his goons end up shooting at the last place they saw her.

You'll definitely be scratching your head a lot... or laughing.

It might keep your interest if you're unfamiliar with Besson's previous works. The oftentimes scantily clad Saldana couldn't even keep me from forgetting the plot holes.

He should have skipped on this and written the sequel to LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL. Please bring back Natalie Portman for MATHILDA.

Sort of ironic the director named himself for a bomb, isn't it.

Rating:

Operation: Endgame (2010) - ActionFest Buffet: Plate #3

On the Menu: OPERATION: ENDGAME (2010)

Ingredients: Rob Corddry, Ellen Barkin, Ving Rhames, Maggie Q, Zach Galifianakis, Bob Odenkirk, Beth Grant, Jeffrey Tambor, Adam Scott, Emilie de Ravin, Odette Yustman, Brandon T. Jackson and Joe Anderson. Directed by Fouad Mikati. Run time: 87 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: I was psyched to see a comedy thriller on the ActionFest schedule, especially one including Zach Galifianakis, Rob Corddry and Ving Rhames in the cast.

The program noted the Friday (8/16) showing would be the world premiere, but I was scheduled to work that night. However, I had Tom cover for me at work so I could see it Saturday afternoon.

It's the day of President Obama's inauguration, and a government operation has just found its newest recruit (Anderson).

This operation has an underground facility housing two teams of government assassins. Each team member is named for a Tarot card, and is either high-strung, paranoid, mentally disturbed or full of sexual tension.

It's crazy enough already, but then someone kills their boss and hacks into the main computer causing the facility to go into lockdown and self-destruct mode. Everyone's a suspect, especially the new guy.

To make things even more interesting, one team got a directive earlier in the day to eliminate the other. Let the corporate downsizing begin.

Tough to Swallow: The print shown at ActionFest wasn't the finished product. Color timing and video effects were not complete for numerous scenes, which is odd because a seemingly in-the-know post on the movie's IMDb.com messageboard on December 8, 2008 stated the film had a couple months of post-production left at that time.

Anderson was not the right choice for the lead... not by a long shot. Tambor and Odenkirk were severely underused.

I have no problem with foul language, but its usage in this movie is excessive and grading to the ear within the first half-hour. And, the schtick with the two "security" guys gets old just as quickly.

**SPOILER** You can see Heirophant still breathing after she has been killed.

This has nothing to do with the film itself, but the ActionFest program misspelled four of the actors' names in the write-up: Bakrin, Corrdry, de Raven, Galifanakis and Galafanakis. It also misspelled the original title as "Rouge's Gallery" instead of Rogue's Gallery. Nice way to promote the world premiere of a film. Sheesh.

Something to Chew On: Theater audience = 30 (before walk-out). The Friday world premiere (a day earlier) may have had fewer empty seats.

The film's original title was Rogue's Gallery.

This is Mikati's directorial debut.

Writer Brian Watanabe won the 2004 Screenwriting Expo with the script for this film.

Richard Kelly, director of DONNIE DARKO, is one of the executive producers. This is actually the fifth film produced by Darko Entertainment.

According to Wikipedia, "Operation Endgame is a 2003-2012 plan under implementation by the Office of Detention and Removal Operations of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security Bureau of Immigration and Customs Enforcement to detain and deport all removable aliens and 'suspected terrorists' currently living in the United States by 2012."

OPERATION: ENDGAME is scheduled for a theatrical release in the fall of 2010.

The film currently has a 6.5 user rating on IMDb.com (32 votes).

Aftertaste: I really wanted to like this. Maybe my expectations were too high after seeing the cast list.

Corddry pretty much takes over the movie with an even more obnoxious version of his Lou character in HOT TUB TIME MACHINE. Galifianakis provides the second-best performance, albeit slightly odd. Yustman and Q are decent eye candy. The acting seriously drops off after that. Anderson is a jittery mess; it seems like he is trying a Christopher Walken impression through most of the movie. And, as I mentioned before, Tambor and Odenkirk are not used to their potential.

The plot goes from whodunit to survival of the fittest with a free-for-all killing spree involving office supplies. Throw in some real politics, and it makes the story a little convoluted. Or maybe more convoluted than it already is. That being said, most of the kills are gruesome, so it's got that going for it, which is nice.

Again, most, if not all, of the effects scenes were not complete in the print at ActionFest. I tried to overlook that, but it did take me out of the movie more often than not, especially when the words "COLOR/VFX NOT COMPLETE" took up the bottom third of the screen in those scenes.

I'm not sure how much better the movie would be with completed effects. I really can't blame the lady in front of me for walking out after about 50 minutes.

Rating:

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (2009) - Gratuitous Included

On the Menu: BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY (2009)

Ingredients: Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly, Julie Benz, Judd Nelson, Peter Fonda and Clifton Collins, Jr. Directed by Troy Duffy. Run time: 118 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: BOONDOCK SAINTS is easily in my Top 25 when it comes to my favorite movies, but I never thought it needed a sequel. I found out about the new installment back in late September or early October, and watched the trailer around the same time. It looked all right. I wasn't necessarily excited to see the movie based on the trailer since Willem Dafoe was absent, but his replacement, the hot Julie Benz, did grab my attention.

The movie opens up in Ireland where the fully-bearded McManus clan has apparently been hiding out for the last 10 years being shepherds. They're drawn back to Beantown after someone, imitating their style, kills a priest.

Bringing the brothers back is all a ploy by Concezio Yakavetta (Nelson), the son of the Italian mob boss from the first film. The FBI gets involved again, but this time there's no Smecker (Dafoe). Instead, his protégée Special Agent Eunice Bloom (Benz) takes the case and teams up with the three local policemen from the original.

So, the brothers return to clean house, but another mob boss has been pulling the strings on the entire plot.

Second Helping: With two commentary tracks on the DVD, I was pretty much forced to watch the movie three times.

You won't really learn anything from the first commentary that includes the actors, which they recorded the night of the premiere. As the closing credits start to roll, they end the commentary and are headed to opening night. Anyway, they spend the whole movie cracking gay jokes and doing impressions. At one point about halfway through, someone asks, "Are we supposed to talk about the movie?" Well, it would have been nice.

The second commentary is more informative. Duffy provides some insights into casting and storylines. He spends the first hour by himself, but then is joined by one of the actors for the last hour. It's funny because Duffy has stories from the first film involving the actor, but the actor doesn't remember ANYTHING that happened on or off the set 10 years ago.

Tough to Swallow: It's All Saints' Day. There's an apostrophe.

After an Oscar-nominated performance in THE WRESTLER, Joan Rivers was just mediocre in this one. Wait. That was Sean Patrick Flanery?! Oops. My bad. Seriously, the years have not been kind to him... and neither have the plastic surgeons.

Also, Benz's Southern accent is awful, she tends to mug for the camera during her Paul Smecker moments (the crime-scene reenactments), and I'm still not sure why she is taken off the case later in the movie. Fonda as an Italian mob boss didn't really work for me either. Oh, and Collins is too over-the-top.

There's a grooming montage while the boys are in Ireland. Music plays and the shots shift as the brothers cut their hair, shave their beards and take showers. There's also a drinking montage that is said to be a nod to fans who have told Duffy they'd like to have a drink with the brothers. Regardless, both montages are dumb.

During the big shootout in the hotel, the brothers are attached to rope and swing through the windows from outside. However, as they bust through they're shooting as they continue to slide across the floor on their knees, the rope magically disappears.

The scenes with the "midget" shooter and the dream sequence are all pointless, in my opinion. The movie could easily have been 30 minutes shorter. Plus, the black cat in the dream sequence is supposed to reference Rocco's girlfriend's cat from the first film, but the original cat was gray and white.

Personally, I think we were better off NOT knowing the backstory of Il Duce (he was cooler because of the mystery). The three flashbacks used to tell the story slow the movie down. The conversation in the greenhouse near the end is all that was needed to explain his background.

Something to Chew On: The production budget was $8 million, and it grossed over $10 million at the box office in its 112 days in theaters. Now, compare that to the first film. BOONDOCK SAINTS was made with $6 million, but only grossed $30,000 because it spent just 20 days in 5 theaters (its theatrical release came just nine months after the Columbine High School massacre). The original has tallied about $50 million in video sales though.

Eleven of the original cast members are back this time around.

I'm not too sure how many people who will watch this movie will have seen "One Tree Hill," but Paul Johansson, who plays Dan Scott on the TV drama, makes an appearance as an FBI agent. Others may recognize Robb Wells (Jimmy the Gofer) from "Trailer Park Boys."

Gerard Parkes, who plays Doc, the bar owner who suffers from Tourette's, also played Doc (the lone human) on "Fraggle Rock."

Duffy is working on a black comedy set in the 1600s called THE GOOD KING. He's also working on a serial killer movie. Despite these projects, he already has a working title for a 3rd SAINTS film: BOONDOCK SAINTS III: SAINTS PRESERVE US. Word is there will also be a comic book released in May 2010.

The film currently has a 6.9 user rating on IMDb.com (8,349 votes).

Sides: Aside from the two commentaries, there are 2 deleted scenes and a behind-the-scenes featurette entitled "Unprecedented Access: Behind the Scenes" (approx. 25 minutes). There is a featurette called "Billy Connolly and Troy Duffy: Unedited" where the two talk with each other over some tea (approx. 9 minutes). Fourteen trailers are also included, but none of them are for either BOONDOCK SAINTS movie.

Aftertaste: Duffy took everything the fans liked from the first movie and tried to ramp those things up for this sequel. There are bigger shootouts, more quotable lines and more gay and racial jokes. Really though, it seemed like every other sentence was written to force a laugh out of the audience. To me, this movie seems more like a parody of the original. And, even with watching the movie three times (twice with commentary), I'm still not sure how much, if any, of the self-parody is intended.

Aside from Connolly and Fonda, the actors give over-the-top performances. The threesome of local cops played well off of Smecker, but turned into bumbling and paranoid buffoons here because Bloom didn't have the same intelligence or intensity. I don't understand how you decide to replace the brilliant Willem Dafoe with the unproven Julie Benz. Fans of the first film will probably be satisfied with the ending though.

BOONDOCK SAINTS had a flow to it. BOONDOCK SAINTS II is a little disjointed. They actually wrote some of the stuff the day of shooting, e.g. the dream sequence. But, like I said before, that sequence doesn't fit in the movie. Duffy says it's a "man-ifesto," but so what? What does it have to do with anything? There are a lot of moments that seem to happen or not happen because it is convenient to where Duffy wanted the story to go next. I can only imagine the conversations on the set during the making of the movie:

"How are the brothers going to figure out who is framing them?"
"Um, we'll have them hear his name on a talk radio show, and they'll realize he's related to someone they killed before."


"Okay, we just had this character rat out his boss and give his location to the brothers. Now what?"
"I don't think they should go there immediately. They should have an unrelated shootout at a Mexican restaurant instead."

See, it's just stuff like that for the entire movie. Maybe putting action and humor ahead of story and editing was what Duffy thought the rabid SAINTS fanbase wanted. The guy had 10 years to sit down and write a coherent sequel, and he failed. He also states in one of the commentaries that there are numerous times where he only shoots one take per shot. Hmmm. That explains a lot, too.

Here's a tip: Don't make a 3rd SAINTS movie.

That's just my two cents.

Rating:

Whiteout (2009) - Too Bland for My Tastes

On the Menu: WHITEOUT (2009); Blockbuster Rental DVD

Ingredients: Kate Beckinsale, Tom Skerritt, Gabriel Macht, Columbus Short and Alex O'Loughlin. Directed by Dominic Sena. Run time: 96 minutes. Rated: R.

At First Bite: The trailer was promising. It sets up a mystery/thriller involving a buried plane in Antarctica. And, they even show part of a Beckinsale shower scene in the trailer. All right. Got my attention.

The movie begins by showing us the fateful 1957 flight of the plane in the trailer. Then, we're introduced to our chilly setting via a caption that reads:

ANTARCTICA
THE COLDEST,
MOST ISOLATED LAND MASS
ON THE PLANET

I assume we should just hazard a guess that it's present day. The next set of captions let us know the name of the base, the latitude and longitude and the temperature -- a balmy (-55) degrees Celsius, which converts to (-67) degrees Fahrenheit. But, oddly, that doesn't stop guys from hopping off planes nude and streaking across the base. There's a minute-long tracking shot following our heroine, U.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko, from a short trek outside to her shower (that might be the best camerawork in the movie).

The vast majority of the base is evacuating for the winter, including Carrie. She's planning on resigning from her post with dreams of becoming a professional backgammon player back in the States. But, hold the phone, a body has been found. It's Antarctica's first murder, which means Carrie has to stay put and investigate.

A couple more bodies turn up and a mysterious cargo is missing from the buried plane. How is it all connected? 

Tough to Swallow: The dialogue leaves much to be desired. It's actually funny sometimes because most of the time the characters are just stating the obvious as though the filmmakers thought the audience would be either stupid or wouldn't see what was on the screen. "It's a body. It looks like he's been shot through the head." Really? Wouldn't have guessed from the bullet wound or since we saw him die in the opening sequence of the movie. I mean, why even start the movie off with the 1957 flight if you're going to recreate the entire crash later when the plane is found?

The movie is full of flashbacks. Five of them are of the same scene, which proves to be the exposition for Carrie and her trust issues. Then, of course, are the pointless mini-flashes of the '57 crash as well as its recent discovery.

The movie's twist is foreshadowed by, to be honest, a mere glance, plus the Law of Economy of Characters (see Ebert's definition).

Doc (Skerritt) informs us early on that a whiteout is a ridiculously dangerous weather condition where you can't see 6 inches in front of your face. Yet, the final chase/fight scene takes place during the whiteout and somehow they can see each other just fine (even when they're all wearing giant parkas and goggles). Plus, as long as someone is attached to a safety line the wind doesn't really affect them. And, can three people really survive 7 minutes of (-70+) degrees without wearing some type of mask? You'd think frostbite would set in pretty quick under those circumstances.

Oh, and Carrie is a U.S. Marshal and carries a gun, but I don't think she ever used it once. That's kinda weird when there's a killer chasing her around the base for most of the movie.

Dark Castle Entertainment put its name on this, but its filmography consists mostly of horror films (HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL, GHOST SHIP, ORPHAN, etc.). WHITEOUT is no horror film.

How's about the nitpicky stuff, huh? Well, a thesis paper has the word doctoral misspelled as "doctorial." The label on Doc's Scotch Whisky bottle reads Scotch Whiskey. And, when Carrie and her crew go looking for grid 104 (where the plane is buried), the GPS coordinates, if researched with Google Earth (or what have you), show them to be on Lake Manitoba in Canada.

Something to Chew On: Reese Witherspoon was attached to the movie way back in 2002.

The film currently has a 5.3 user rating on IMDb.com (6,511 votes).

Sides: This Blockbuster Rental DVD has zero features. The only two options on the menu are "Play Movie" and "Languages."

Aftertaste: WHITEOUT was pretty disappointing. It's too predictable and the payoff was really lame considering the Cold War implications in the movie's opening sequence. I know the dialogue is bad (they should have used Wite-Out on most of the script), but I'm beginning to question whether Gabriel Macht should look for a new profession. Kate Beckinsale, on the other hand, is worth watching in almost anything. And, guys, you'll at least be happy with the opening sequence at the base. It's really the best part of the movie. After that comes the gratuitous flashbacks and surprising lack of frostbite. I think the filmmakers tried to sell it as a slasher film, but it didn't quite live up to that billing. The premise of the first homicide in Antarctica is murdered by the actual plot. The initial run-in with the killer is a little intense, but, overall, the movie is overwhelmingly blah.

Rating: